February 28, 1983

Dear Betsy,
So much is happening here.  Bob is in critical condition at Toledo Hospital.  He is now in CCU.  That is where I used to work.  I have a hard time getting out to see him.  He just turned bad tonight.  I pray he will get well.
Sandy got a letter from Matt today.  They are going to be friends.  She went on a date to a dance Saturday night with Keith.  She is doing well.  She is over eating and vomitting.  I am worried about her.  She is not happy.  She nearly choked to death Friday night after going to a party and eathing four pieces of pizza, etc.  She can't eat one of anything and stop.  I called Dr. Adler today and he hopes to see her soon.
I write in my journal every night.  I do exercises also.  I have to stay off my feet 12 hours every night and most of the day.  It is a hard way to live but I am slowly learning.
How is school and Rainbow girls?  How come you aren't writing to me?  I miss you and your letters.
Bob's name went on the temple Prayer chain tonight.  We usually go to the Episcopal church.
Our weather is really warm here the past 2 days.  It is like spring.  I wish I could walk like I used to.
Well, I will close.  Remember I love you.  Grandpa, Grandma and Aunt Ida are well.  They are worried about Bob, Sandy and me.

All my love,
Mom

February 14, 1983

Dear Betsy,

It was so very nice to talk with you today.  I am sorry about your feet and knee.  I love the Valentine that you and Kirstie sent me.  I have been in the apartment over 36 days.  I miss you so much.  I love you dearly.  I am so proud to have you as my daughter.  I have no money for rent, etc. for this coming time.  I miss exercising.  Al lthe ascription is hurting my stomach.
Do you have my Columbia Minerva knitting book and bag from the den?  It is the book that had a dashound sweater in it.  I need to knit some slippers.

February 19
I got your letter yesterday and was so happy to get it.  So you wear a 34C.  I am glad for you.  Sorry I couldn't have been with you.
No one reads your letters but me so you can write whatever you want to me.
A friend came and washed my hair today.  I have a trya I had to buy it from a beauty supply store.
People have brought us food because we have no minister.
I am reading "Sayonara" by James Michener.  It is very good.  Religion means a lot to me.  If it weren't for God and my beliefs I don't know how I could even endure all this suffering both physically and mentally.  I miss you so much.  I wish I had a picture of you.
I am glad you are enjoying Rainbows.  Did I tell you the Eastern Star Drill Team sent cards and called it a "birthday card shower"? Plus a lady gave me stationary.
I hope your feet and knee are improving.  I worry about them all the time.  What do you want for your birthday?  I wish I had some money to get you something special.
Prices of groceries are really terrible lately.  Do you drink a lot of milk?  I do now, too.  I am in a wheel chair all the time.  I haven't been anywhere since Jan 10 and then only to come home from the hospital.  I vacuummed the apartment tonight in the wheel chair.  I see very little people.  I can't drive either.  Saves on gas.  My electric bill was terrible for last month.
I have learned to do lots of things from the wheel chair.  My legs have to be up all the time and that makes it difficult to move about.
Well, I must close this letter.  "The Dukes of Hazzard" are on and "Dallas" soon will be.  I read "Joni" and would love to see the movie.  It is here in Toledo now.  It would be good I am sure.
Remember I love you dearly.  Take care and write soon again.  You brighten the day.

All my love,
Mom
Lots of XOXOO

December 16, 1982 Sally

Dear Sally,

Well I spent 12 days with my parents and am now with Bob.  I am still very weak.  We are working things out.  I have a fever tonight.  Sandy is still in the hospital.  She'll probably end up in a foster home.  I can't take her and she hates Garry.

Thank you for your letter.  I weight 117#.  I weighed 105# in the hospital.  Bob is helping me.  I have lost my past memory.

I am so depressed today.  I cried and cried all day.  I guess I am letting down.  I really bled in the hospital also and had lots of blood.  Thank God I am alive.  I have a lot to be thankful for. I really do love Bob.  I have missed him.  He loves me.

Well, I have heard nothing from Betsy or Kirstie.  It is really upsetting.  Well, I get new glasses.   I have no Christmas presents, tree or decorations.  Glad you are ready for Christmas.  I miss you all.  Sorry this has taken so long.  Please tell Jodi, Marie and Noreen what happened to me.  I have to do something with my life and feel that I can do.  Any suggestions.  Merry Christmas to all.  I miss you.

Love,
Judy

December 7, 1982 Sally

Dear Sally,

Please excuse my scribbling.  Sorry I haven't written but I was critically ill in Toledo Hospital for one month.  I don't remember a lot.  I was in intensive care 19 days.  I had a temp of 84 and a pulse of 30 and in a coma when Bob finally got me to the hospital.  I had hypothermia and they gave me no chance to live.  My parents have really been devoted.  Five days after I got here I turned even worse.  I aspirated and got bad pneumonia.  Then they had to put a tube in me to breathe and put me on a respirator.  Oh, Sally, when I came to I was sure I was dying.  I remember my mom 1st then my dad.  I do remember them.  In the meantime I saw Sandy and couldn't remember that she came from VA in October with me.  I was sure I was dying.  Only I really was struggling with life.  My mom said they gave no hope.  The pneumonia was resistive to the antibiotics and finally they found one and I broke out in severe rash.  She said I was a mess.  I don't remember.  Then I had bad diarrhea and had stomach tube, rectal tube, breathing tube, Foley urine catheter.  I had 3 IV's swag catheter into the heart, arterial blood lines and subclavian catheter.  I have lost a lot of weight and am now gaining fast.  I guess I had a really bad cough before I came in and fell, etc. only Bob let me go.  I was in a coma when he finally called an ambulance.  I blame him.  He has used me as a nurse maid, my money, transportation, etc.  He has used me.  Sandy is in St. Vincents hospital and has been 4 weeks.  Bob put her in when I was in the hospital.  She took extra thyroid plus her anorexia is bad.

Missing You

Missing You

Sometimes when I'm
alone and missing you,
I remember the special times we've
shared.
Sometimes the memories make me smile,
sometimes they make me cry.
Sometimes they make me lonely,
but that's not so bad…
because remembering what we've already
done makes me look forward
to the things we've yet to do.
It makes it easier to wait for you
because you don't seem so far away.
But more than anything else,
it makes me realize just how much
I love you.
            - Julie Ann Gridley

September 27, 1982

Dear Sally,

I am here in Virginia to see the girls.  I just saw Sandy's psychologist with Garry.  She is returning to Toledo with me at the advice of the doctor.  Garry took it very well.  You are the first to know.  I called Bob but no answer.  She wants to live with me so much.  It will really be crowded in our 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment but Bob and I will try to make a good home for her.  Bob is going to hear the missionary lessons.   Pray that he believes.

I have been in this motel 6 days.  My parents were here 3 days with my Great Aunt Ida.  Betsy became Worthy Advisor of Rainbow Girls and I installed her.  I flew here and will fly back tomorrow with Sandy.  I will seek permanent custody of her.  She has a lot of faith - so do I.

The girls just came to visit.  Betsy says to have Ginny write.  Sandy is in the process of writing Ginny.  Please write her at my address.

Our weather is 70.  It is pretty good for my feet and legs.  My poor stomach hurts a lot lately. So much has happened.  I love to Book you gave me.  Sandy goes to Seminary every morning here but only once a week in Toledo.  We leave at 9 AM out of Washington, DC tomorrow.  I hope and pray Sandy will be happy with Bob and me.

How have you been?  I miss you so much.  I made my best friends.  Please write me encouragement with the church.

I can hardly believe the children have grown so much.  Mine have too.

Well, I am excited about getting Sandy home to me.  I hope she can get the love she needs from me and Bob.  My stomach really hurts.  Garry will take us to the airport.  Poor Sandy.  She has really suffered.  I pray she'll be happy and well.  She looks so good.

Well, I will write again soon.  Please write me.  I need encouragement and strength more than ever.

Remember I miss you and all my friends.  Say "hi" to them for me.  I love you, friend.

Love
Judy

July 6, 1982 Sally

Dear Sally,

It was good to get your letter.  Our weather is hot and humid.  Not like CA.  I really miss all of you, etc.  Bob and I are happy.  We have so many errands to run but my legs can't take all the heat and time on them, plus we are still trying to move into my apartment.

My great Aunt Ida was 80 this month.  We went out to dinner and there was a surprise party for her at my mom's.  She had fun.  Doesn't act her age.

I've talked with the girls.  I plan to go in Sept when Betsy is installed as Worthy Advisor.  I am anxious for Bob to meet Betsy and Kirstie.  He really cares about my daughters.  We both miss Sandy.  I am sure she will return some day.  Her dad works those girls every morning for 4 hours on the house.

The girls all go to church and mutual.  Betsy's steady boyfriend is good LDS and he just graduated from high school.  He friend (also LDS) likes Sandy.  His name is Matt.

Sandy weighs about 110-113# and I think it is too much.  I weight 120# and know I need no more.

Bob and I are both going in September to VA.  We may fly.  I plan to sell my 2 rings as I have no use for them.  They will pay my airplane ride.

Did I tell you that I am letting my hair grow for Bob.  But I plan to get it thinned soon.  We have been married over 2 months now.

I love the book you sent me.  It is too hot to send bread or muffins now.  I have a huge store list.  I push the wheelchair and Bob pushes the cart.  Like a choo choo train.  We have fun.
Write soon.

Love,
Judy

May 21, 1982

My Dear Kirstie,
I am sorry I didn't get this written sooner.  Time moves much quicker.  By this time Sandy should be there.  I miss her so much already.  I hope she stays well and is happy.   Because I love her so much is the reason she is with you, Betsy and her dad.  As I told you on the phone, I am  married.  We were married May 4th in a Lutheran Church.  Only Sandy and Bob's best friend and his wife were with us.  It was a lovely service.  Our pictures are good.  As soon as I get the negatives I'll get some pictures made for all of you.  Bob has his left leg off and so he uses a wheel chair.  He will walk soon.  He will be 50 in July.  He is very kind to me.  He was married before for 6 years and divorced.  We both have gold wedding bands.  I had pretty flowers.
We will be coming in September to see you, Betsy and Sandy.  I am anxious to see you.  I really miss you.  I hope you have fun with Sandy.  Help her get well.  She has had a hard life.  I hope you are happy.  I am so sorry I had to get so sick a few years ago.  I am still your mom.  I miss you and really love you.  I have seen you once since March 1980.
My fee and legs are still a mess but I am learning to live with it more.  My hand is all better which is a miracle.
I go to church every Sunday.  Bob goes with me.  He has never gone to church since he was in high school, but he has faith.
I have to go to the store today and get groceries.  I hate all the Friday shoppers.  I have let the shelves get empty.
Bob has to move everything from his apartment into mine and we have too much to fit so we have to get rid of some more furniture.  I wish you could come for a visit this summer.  today it is raining and cool.  It is good weather for my legs.  We have to get a room air conditioner because there is non with the apartment.  Everything costs money.  They wnat $500 for air conditioner.
I haven't been to the mall except to get our wedding bands.  I wnet to the cemetary on Mother's day.  Bob's parents are buried with our relatives also.  Grandma and Grandpa put flowers on the grave.
How is my Gretchen?  I miss her too, but I can't have pets here.  I owe 15 letters which is really unusual for me.  I got behind with getting married again.  I am happy so that is what counts.  I only wish I could see you.  I bet you are really changing.  Do you have a boy friend?  How is school for you?  I hope you like school.  Do you have much homework.
I tripped and broke my left big toe and cut the bottom off 3 weeks ago.  It still hurts but it is healing.  It takes me longer to heal because of the blood circulation.
Well, I must close and get his in the mail.  Remember I love you, Kirstie and I am your mom.  Please write.  Take care of yourself.

All my love,
Mom

May 16, 1982

My Dearest Betsy,
I have been wanting to write you for the past two weeks but have been so busy.  I was so happy to talk to you last Sunday on Mother's Day.  Thank you so much for calling me.  Before I write more I want to tell you how very much you mean to me and how much I dearly love and adore you.  I do miss you but I am glad you are happy and busy.  I am so proud of you.  I can hardly wait until September.  What date have you set?  What is your theme and colors?  What can I do to help plan.  Remember planning in California?  I also want you to know I am the happiest woman in the world.  I have found happiness at long last and I love the life I live. I still have the "freak feet and legs" that hurt all the time, but there is more to life than pain.  I smile all the time and laugh.  I weigh 118-120# and feel good all over.  I just had to tell you.  I think of you so much and I will be there in September for sure.
The weather should be good.

Aunt Ida just had a four day trip to the World's Fair and got home Thursday.  She had a good time.  Sandy is fine and going to school.  She goes weekly to the psychologist.
I go to church every Sunday.  Two Sunday's ago I tripped on a 1/4" step raised concrete and tore my left big toe wide open on the bottom.  Blood went everywhere and I had to go to the emergency room for treatment.  I also broke the toe.

How are you feeling?  I hope better.  Did the stomach cramps go away?  How is the asthma doing?  Do you still have a boy friend?  Are you driving yet?  I go out mornings and evenings when possible because me feet and legs can't take the heat.  I shop early or late.  I am know as  "The Sun Down Kid"  It is 85 degrees here.  I had to buy a $500 air conditioner this past week.


Monday
I have been thinking of your installation.  I would like to present you with your gavel.  I have mine and Grandma used it when she was Worth Matron.  So I would like you to have mine if you want.  I would be honored if you would accept my gavel.  This special day of yours will be very special for me also.  Please give me all the details and the date for sure.  I will need a motel close by for a couple of days.  I am so anxious to come and see you.  I wish you could come visit me this summer.  I am saving my money for the September trip.  I hope the weather is really good.  It should be ideal.  It is a good time for your installation.
Please think about the gavel.   I could give you another one also if you didn't want the one I used.
It is hot here but pretty.  I even went to the cemetery last Sunday and saw the graves of all our relatives.  I miss my Grandpa Deakin.  He was a good man.  Do you still hear from Ulrich in Germany?
Tomorrow I plan to go to a Bible study at church.  I go out and eat my breakfast brunch when I get home.  I took Sandy to Dr. Adler today at 9:30.  Then I took her to school and then I came home and fixed breakfast.  Now I am at my doctors and have to wait so I hope I can finish this and get it mailed.
I am letting my hair grow long again.  It is already thick.


Wednesday

Well, time goes quickly and things change.  I talked with you last night and told you I got married.  I am happy.  I will have pictures made for you.  Bob is really nice.  He lived across the hall from me in this apartment building.  Now I will have to move across the hall.  My name is Mrs. Judith Thompson.  You can still send mail to the old address and name.
I have to send Sandy home to you all because she needs you.  I love her so much but I feel she needs more supervision and her sisters.  She will probably never forgive me.  I pray she does and knows I did it for her own good.  She is still very sick and takes lots of medicine.  Tell her I love her for me.  I have cried all morning today.  I miss you so much.

Bob will be 50 years old in July.  He is really nice.  He had his left leg taken off a year ago from bad circulation.  He uses a wheel chair but we go everywhere possible.  He truly loves me and I love him.  I never thought I would or could love again.  We have no money but that isn't everything plus we live in a tiny apartment.  I have so many things that won't even fit in his (our) place.  I have lots to keep me busy now.  I have to stay in the day because it gets too hot outside.  We did buy an air conditioner for the apartment and it helps except we should have another for our bedroom.
My new phone number is …
Address:  6818 Oakfield Drive #101
Judy Dibble sent this stationary 2 years ago and I am writing to you with it for the first time.

Bob was married at age 41 and divorced 2 years ago.  He is 6'4" tall.  He is losing his hair.  He is good to me, Betsy.  I need love and I love him.  I am happy.  I miss you so much.  I wish we could be closer.  Could you write me more?  I miss your letters.  I didn't tell anyone I was getting married.  We were married in Bob's church on May 4.  Bob's friend Steve and his wife and Sandy were there and the Pastor.  Steve bought beautiful flowers - corsage for Sandy and his wife and carnations for Steve and Bob.  I had a beautiful bouquet of white carnations and a lovely purple orchid.  We have gold wedding bands.  I hope you are happy for me.  I was so lonely.  Now, the time flies for us.  He is disabled  and handicapped also so we are poor and he and I are here together most of the time.
So you are going to the Mormon church.  So is Sandy.  I am glad.  I go every week.
I am so thrilled you want me to present you with your gavel (mine).  I'll have it made up with your name, etc.  Send me your Assembly # and etc because I'll put it on it also.  I am so excited.  You are fulfilling my dreams.  I have a daughter to be proud of.  You light up my life!!!
It just poured rain and now the sun is out.  I think we'll take Sandy out for salad bar supper tonight and then pack.  I have to yell her yet.  She is happy since she was doing things wrong.  She needs psychiatric help.  Please don't tell her ever that she is fat.  She thinks she is.  She looks better past two days.  She went to mutual last night and had a good time.  I hope she doesn't hate her own mother.  If I didn't love her, I wouldn't send her.  She says she hates her dad and Alison.  She said she would run away if I sent her to her dad.  I pray all works out.  I miss her already.  She just came home from school with loads of homework.
Well, I had better close and get cleaned up.  Bob is taking a nap.  I hope you stay happy and well.  I haven't been in the wheel chair for weeks.  I rest my legs on footstools or the bed.  I have lots of energy and I eat good.  You can be proud of me.  Remember I love you dearly.  Let me help you plan your installation, theme, colors, etc.  I love lavender and baby blue.  I will mark September 25th as the big, BIG DAY!!  We will be there somehow.
Get the address and phone number of that Holiday Inn by your lodge.  It would be close.
Remember I am your one and only mom and I love you dearly.  I only wish I had my health so I could be with you more.  Take care, honey and write me soon.

All my love to a beautiful daughter,
Your mom

March 31, 1990 Sally

Dear Sally,

So  much is happening which isn't all good (What a way to start a letter)!  We have had 2 custody hearings and another April 6.  Sandy has to testify then.  She went back to school full time and stopped Mellaul.  Now she called today 2 x from school to say she didn't feel well and wanted to come home.  I didn't let her as she always pulls this.  She is trying out for softball and track.  I think she is still sick.  She refuses to live with Garry and Alison but she misses the girls.  I called Kirstie on her birthday.  She sounds so sad.  Betsy sounds great.  I miss them.  Sandy is lazy and she yells so much at me.  I am very lonely but trying to keep busy with church and all.  Garry, Alison and the girls all went to Oakton, VA Ward on Sunday for all meetings.  He is making himself look so good.  He had his attorney question me for 2 straight hours.  He is trying to say I am financially physically and mentally incompetent.  He will probably get custody and cost thousands of dollars and I will pay all my life.  The psych for Sandy wrote a letter to the court on Garry's behalf saying I should have Sandy until the summer, then live with Garry forever.  I was furious.  You can tell who pays his bill.  We are going to a new psych for adolescent tomorrow for Sandy and I pray he helps her and us.  Otherwise I will lose Sandy to Garry.  He moved into his big new apartment.  Sandy's psych doctor said I could not provide for her.  I will get food from food truck (welfare LDS) tomorrow.  The Bishop wants me to practice my violin and play in Sacrament meeting.  Relief Society lesson is this Saturday at 9:30.  I plan to go.  Sandy goes to Mutual every Tuesday night and plays volleyball.  She has lots of friends.  The minister that married me and who was to be a character witness for me died March 23 suddenly.  He absolutely despised Garry. I feel the loneliness of divorce now.  Not the anger, hurt as much as missing someone to love. Do you still want Sandy part of the summer?  Betsy is going to CA also so she says.  She goes, goes, goes!  Well, I am out of room.  I miss not hearing from you.  The girls don't write and it hurts.  Garry gets all credit after I raised them to young ladies.  I hope you are all well and hopefully happy.  Thank Heavenly Father for your beautiful family.  I love you all so much.  Write soon.  All my love,

Judy