This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Sunday, May 25, 1986

May 25, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I went to McDonald's this morning for coffee, orange juice, and a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit.  it was so good.  I came home and brought Bob, pancakes which he like.  So did our cat.  I just went to the store and spent fourteen dollars and was worried I had enough for $5.  I had a $5 gift certificate.  You don't get much for your money these days.  I am at Dunkin Donuts on my way home for coffee so I found this paper in my purse and decided to write again.
Gram doesn't like Bob and told me so plus I should have never married him.  Well, that is my business and he is good to me.  He sleeps days so I get lonely or bored.  We spend our evenings together.  He stays up late at night and reads a lot.  I may start playing the violin again.  The only problem is I have to play with my feet elevated.  It is uncomfortable.  

Later
I am home again and waiting to make supper.  How is Kirstie?  Does she get my letters?  She never writes and I miss her.  Tell her I love her.  I love you, too.  It is hard to believe that you are 20 years old.
I haven't any news but I wanted you to know how much I care about you and miss you.
Write when you can.  I love getting your letters.  Take care of yourself.  Enjoy every day.  It is important.  My fun days are gone, but I can't dwell on it.  I think I will do some geneology.  Bob is going to start going to church with me.  I would like that.

All my Love,
Mommy


I LOVE YOU!!!

Thanks for the letters.
I save them all.

Wednesday, May 21, 1986

May 21, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I was so happy to get your inspiring letter.  I appreciate your writing.
My legs and feet are a mess and I am going to Cleveland Clinic in one week on May 28.  I will have a complete work up.  It iwill be like going to MAYO Clinic which I did 5 years ago.  My doctor thinks I may have what Dr. Haun said in 1979- collegen disease with erythromolagia is secondary which is what I have primary.  Very rare and painful.  Grandma and Grandpa are taking me (I think).
May 24
I never got that picture of you and Jim.  I got an empty envelope.  You must be losing your marbles like me!!  hee hee
I went to a vascular doctor yesterday.  He was very understanding byt offers little hope for improvement.  Maybe Cleveland Clinic will help.  I had blood drawn yesterday for more tests.  A friend is driving Bob and me to Cleveland Clinic.  We are renting the car for a day.  It will be hard for me to do.  I will be so exhausted.
I am trying to sleep on my back at night because my hips get big sore holes in them.  My left hip is so sore.
I just made stuffed green peppers.  We love them.  I am going to make meatball stroganoff tomorrow.  It should be good.  I have to go to the store also plus church.  I washed and set my hair today.  It is really growing and thick.
Well, I just went to get the mail and got a letter from you.  Do you think you can come?  I miss you so much.  I don't know the cost but I think Piedmont is direct to Toledo.  Sandy has flown it.
Jim sounds like a guy.  Are you still going with him?  Take your time.
My cat Kelly is a doll.  She is meowing all the time for petting or being held.  I will take this to the post office tomrrow so you get it.  I'd like to move west but I imagine we are stuck in Toledo.  Bob has never seen the beautiful country out west.  I watch a lot of TV.  Bob sleeps during the day.
I must close.  I love you so much.  I miss you honey.  I hope and pray you can come.  Thank you for writing.

All my love,
Mom

Saturday, April 26, 1986

April 26, 1986

Dear Betsy,
It seems like ages since I wrote to you.  Life goes slow when you can't get out.  I go to the community room a lot but it is the same thing over and over.
I developed severe left hip pain and had x-rays.  It was okay.  Then I got pleurisy and now a cough.  I had 102 feever last night.
Bob has a bad cough and fell out of bed and opened his knee up.  It is a mess.  He is okay otherwise.
Kelly is a little cat.  She only weighs 5#.  We love her and she is spoiled.  She can't get on things because she is so tiny and no claws.
Grandma and Grandpa are at Scotish Rite all day today and yesterday.  Grandma is President.  Grandpa told Grandma if he had know about when you were going in Eastern Stars they would have come.  How long have you been in now?
I haven't heard from Sandy.  When is she coming back our way?  When are you going to the beach?  Are you coming to see me?  I sure hope so.
I read magazines a lot and work in the library a day a week.  This is a huge apartment complex and most people are nice.
April 28
I have been sick for 4 days.  I went to the doctor and my temperature was still 102.  I now have to take Motrin 4 x a day.  He is giving me to Wednesday to get better.  If I don't I have to go to the hospital as it could be very serious.  I nearly passed out in his office and laid down.  Bob is starting to feel better.  He still sleeps a lot.
Our wedding anniversary is Sunday and I am hoping we are well enough to get a fish dinner.  I have lost 6# in 6 days.  I can't afford that.  I only weight 114#.
It was ninety here yesterday and today was 85.  I hate it so hot for my legs and feet.
I called Sat to talk with you and Kirstie and you were both gone.  I am sorry I missed you.
We have laundry piled up and I am too weak to do it.  I haven't felt like this in years.  I am drinking a lot of liquids.  Kelly knocked a glass of water over and it got the connection for the phone and extension wet.  Now our phone doesn't work.
Well, I hope you are well.  Your dad said you and Kirstie made a study.  Do you ever go to church?
Well, I will close.  I feel better tonight so maybe it is just a virus.  Write me soon.  Remember I love you and so does Bob.  I miss you.

All my love,
Mom

Monday, April 7, 1986

April 7, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I miss you so much.  How is work going?  I went to the doctor yesterday and am there with bad back today.  I ate a salad bar.  I read the BOM in the restaurant.  so when are you coming to see me?  It has been almost 2 years since I saw you.  I hope to go the store when I am done here.  Bob isn't feeling too well either.  I have a cough, too.  It turned cool again.  The exhaust manifold is broken and it is so noisy.  We live a long way from the South end.  I went to McDonalds for a free egg, cheese, bacon buscuit.  I had to buy coffee and orange juice so the whole meal cost me 52 cents.
Nancy Reid's father died very suddenly and he is 54 years old.  He had a heart attack while sleeping in a chair.
Grandma and Grandpa had a great time in Dallas.  Uncle Dick has 5 cars.  I am so poor and he is rich.  Shelly drives a new jeep.  Ricky has a 4 door pickup and David has a new small car.  Dick drives an Audi and Judy drives a Mercedes Benz.  Must be nice.
I have been reading the BOM.   Do you go to church?  What church?  Does Kirstie go?
The doctor said I had muscle pain in the low back and plerisy on top.  I feel awful.
Next Day
I am on my way to a small store.  It has some good specials.  I hate taking them home.  Kelly got lose last night and I had to run like crazy.  She got out two times.  She is an adorable Siamese.  We love her.  She is a small cat and marked so pretty.  We have a lot of money invested in her.  She is worth it.  I don't know why she runs away.  We had her spayed.
It is cooler here today.  I was dumb enough to leave the apartment with no coat - only with a little sweater.  I came to McDonalds for a new bacon, egg, cheese biscuit.  It is so good.  I get tired of cereal every day.  We are having bean soup today.  Bob made it and we froze it.  He loves soup and sea food.  Do you like fish, lobster, frog leg, etc?
Well, I will close so I can mail it before the mailman comes.  I hope you are well.  Please write me again soon.  Remember I love you so very much.  I love your picture.  I miss you a lot.
Well, I will close.  Write.  I love you.

All my love,
Mom

Bob says, "Hi", too!

Thursday, March 27, 1986

March 27, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I have called you so many times and no answer.  Last night I talked to Kristie for quite a while.  I have been sick and had hypothermia and forgot about everything.  I am fine now.  The doctors here in Toledo want to send me back to MAYO or to the Cleveland Clinic but we can't afford motel bills, etc.  We have insurance.  It is awful to have a rare disease like this.  It may be Dr. Harin's ideas weren't so wrong.  He is gone or I would contact him.  The swelling in my feet has gone down and I am alert and not slurring my speech.  I have low blood pressure and my meds make it 80/50 and I get dizzy.
Today I am driving 1/2 hour each way to get groceries in the South end.  Grandpa and Grandma usually get them but they are in Dallas.  Sunday is Easter and I am going to make it to church.  It is a long way but it is worth it.  I must wash and set my hair.  It is still curly but growing longer all the time.  Did I remember to thank you and Kirstie for the beautiful picture.  I just love it.  Kirstie said I have never written or called since Sandy left.  I have and I call 2 or 3 times and talked with your dad because Kirstie was out.  Please tell her.  I also wrote at Christmas and sent a present.  I know I have a bad memory but I am positive I have written, etc.  She never writes me.  I love you both and miss you.  When are you coming to see me?  How are you feeling?  I hope well.  Today is a lovely day.  Our apartment is a mess.  I haven't been able to do much of anything so I must get busy after Easter.  I'll fix my nails for Easter and wear the blue dress you picked out to marry Bob and pearls from you.  And Raffeine' perfume.  I wish I could have gotten my hair done.  So when do you start school?  Do you still like your car?  Min is 5 years old and starting to need repairs.
Well, I must close and go get all our groceries, etc.  I dread it.  Bob promised to meet me at the entrance and get some groceries.  I have to buy him beer and wine.
Remember I love you dearly.  I miss you.  Give my love to Kirstie and I will write her next.

All my love,
Mom

I love you - Happy Easter!!!

Tuesday, March 18, 1986

March 18, 1986

Dear Betsy,
Just a little Birthday card to say you're held in high regard and you're wished life's best without reserve for that is just what you deserve!
I hope your birthday is one of happiness.  I am proud of you.  I love the pictures of you and Kirstie.  I love you both for giving it to me.  I wish I had a couple wallet size.
Have a happy day.  You can always count on me.  Did you go in OES?  You never said.

Love,
Mom

Saturday, March 15, 1986

March 15, 1986

Dear Betsy,
Excuse me for not writing you except I am exhausted lately.  I had to go to an Endocrinologist last week and they sent me to the lab for thyroid tests.  If my thyroid comes back normal then he is going to give me cortison IV and see what my body does.  My temp has been between 91-95 degrees instead of 98.6 normal.  My ankles are so swollen.  Grandma came yesterday and said I look terrible.  Real nice to hear.  They are planning to go to see Uncle Dick next week.  My cat gets spayed on Wednesday.  She is so lovable.  We call her Kelly.
I am going to start exercising.  They have an exercise bike.  I don't get much exercise with my legs.
March 16
Today I got up at 2:40 and ate breakfast.  I spent the afternoon in the community center.  I had planned to get up at 8:15 and then overslept.
I bought this card from a lady here where I live.  Sorry I couldn't get out for something better.  You know I love you and miss you.
One of the residents has very high pressure and I have to take it every day.  My phone number is ….  I have call waiting.
I appreciate your letters.  Sorry I haven't felt well.  I'll write again soon.  Remember I love you dearly.

All my love,
Mom

Thursday, December 5, 1985

December 5, 1985

Dear Betsy,
I thought I'd send your card early so you put it up and think of me.  Thank you for your letter.    I love hearing from you.  Your cocktail party sounds nice.  I hope you enjoy it.  I will be mailing your Christmas package soon by UPS.
We may be moving to low income housing soon.  I cleaned for 3 days and the lady didn't come.  Bob is now in Toledo Hospital.  His one and only leg and foot really swelled.  He was on Prednisone 60 mgm.  They reduced it to Prednisone 10 mgm.  He had lots of diaretics.  His blood pressure was up also.
I am having trouble with one leg.  It is so hot and sore.  I can't stand it or sleep at night.  My cat is growing and lots of fun.  She sleeps a lot and eats good.  He cold is better.  She was really sick and had 4 shots and pills.  I am also having trouble with my stomach.  I hope it is better soon or I'll have another ulcer.
Today we got 1 1/2 inches of snow but it won't last.  I went to the bank and store while it snowed.  It was slippery.  When are you going to come see me?  I miss you.  I will move soon if we get the apartment.  It is a long ways from here.
The Prednisone made Bob feel better.  Now, he is grumpy and feels bad.  I hope he is better soon.  Your dad's cousin, Larry's wife, Janie is an RN and she took care of Bob one day.  She is really nice.
I really loved the Thanksgiving card.  I saved it in my memory box.  Sandy wrote that your dad and Alison may go to Switzerland for 2 days.  Lucky them!  How is Kirstie?  Is she still depressed because she is grounded?
Well, I will close so I can mail this for you.  I have little news.  Remember I love you so very much.  I miss you.  Write me again real soon.  I play Christmas records every day.

All my love,
Mom

Sunday, November 24, 1985

November 24, 1985

Dear Betsy,
Thank you so much for the lovely Thanksgiving card.  That was so nice and thoughtful of you.
I can't get out because it is so cold.  My feet get so sore.  Plus I have hypothermia.  My temp was 94 yesterday.  So I hope it warms up.  I asked a friend to come over tomorrow for coffee and visit.  Bob has to go to the doctor at 1:30.
Pur kitten, Kelly, is 12 weeks and growing.  She is very good.  She eats well but has a cold.  So somehow I got to get her to the vet for medicine.  She is really pretty.
Are you going to your Dad's for Thanksgiving?  I imagine Bob and I will be alone.  I have watched TV all day.  I couldn't go to church.
November 26
Well, I never got the letter finished.  Our kitten got really sick with croup, etc. and we gave her a 1/4 aspirin and she is feeling better but goes to the vet at 4:30.  We really love her.  Bob's church gave us frozen 11 1/2# turkey and pumpkin pie.  That was nice of them.  I am making meatball stroganoff tonight in the crockpot.  It was a lot of work plus I made a mincemeat pie.
Grandpa is 68 years today and has big Eastern Star things to do so they are not going out to eat.  They are taking Aunt Ida out on Thanksgiving.  It is 50 degrees today and I hope it stays there.  My feet do better and so does my temperature.  So are you coming for Christmas?  I'd love to see you again.  It has been a long time.  Bob really likes you.  We were so glad to get your card.  I get so upset at holidays without my daughters.  So how is work going?  I hope well.  Are you having a lot of rain?  We sure are.  A friend from church is taking me to the vet.  I can't drive very well with a kitten.  I am so afraid she'll get loose.  I plan to get some pictures of her.  We have to get her declawed soon.
Well, I am out of news.  Grandma and Grandpa are so busy with Eastern Stars.  Grandpa is in a lot of pain with his jaw.  Bob saw the doctor yesterday and is doing pretty good.  He has to see a dermatologist for his leg.  He is tired today.
Well, honey I must close.  I miss you so much and I love you dearly.

All my love,
Mom

Tuesday, November 12, 1985

November 12, 1985

Dear Betsy,
I am sorry I haven't written.  Bob is still in the hospital but should come home maybe tomorrow.  He has inflammation arteries and kidney damage.  He is going to have to be on large doses of cortisone.  His blood pressure medicine had to be increased.  They did a biopsy of the area on the temple of his face by his ear and we should have the results today.
I got up early today because  I had the Salvation Army come and get lots of things.  I then was tired of fell asleep from 11 am to 2:15 pm.  I went to the bank and now I am enjoying a cup of coffee at Dunkin Donuts.  I hope to see Bob tonight.  It is lonely for us both.  I think I will get some embroidery thread on the way home.  I have been knitting.  I made myself a blue hat and am working on a scarf to match.  It passes time.  I would love to make Bob a sweater.  It would be a hard job.  Grandma wants me to make her a vest and sweater.  I have the yarn.  I bought it years ago.
So how is your eye?  Is it any better?  I hope so.  Are you still on steroids?  I wrote Kirstie a letter.  She never writes me and I feel badly about it.
Grandpa took me to see Bob 2x.  I used handicapped services 2x and friends the rest of the time.
It has been raining and cold here for days.  I had to turn on the bedroom heat last night.  I stay up until 1 am  every night and watch TV.  I play my violin every day.
I missed yesterday.  Going to the hospital every day tires me out.  I smuggle Bob a beer.  He loves beer and misses it.
I get so itred of eating alone.  Bob is eating well at the hospital.  He is so tired and they don't let him rest.  I had to soak my feet in cold Betadine water last night.  I go to a doctor for my feet on the 21st and my own doctor in December.
The church is helping us with food and it helps.  Tomorrow is the day for the food truck.  I am eating more.  I lost 3 1/2# in a month.  My blood work was tested and my thyroid was high so I had to cut down a 1/2 grain like I was on for so long.  I am not as nervous.  I have to start taking Tagament because my supper doesn't agree with me.  I eat a lot.  I still love salads.
I hope you are doing okay.  I love to hear from you.  Are you coming for the holidays?  The airlines have reduced their fares.
Sandy probably has lots of snow.  She wrote me a week ago.  What do you want for Christmas?  I'd love to make you something but I haven't got much time before Christmas is here.
Well, I am out of news.  I will close.  Write or call me soon.  I love to hear from you.  Remember, I love you dearly and miss you so much.  It seems ages since I saw you.  Write or call when cheap time.  I love you.

All my love,
Mom