This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Monday, February 27, 1984

February 27, 1984

Dear Betsy,
It has been so good talking to you.  I am so sorry for you and the terrible trouble you had to go through.  You can always call me.  I am sending you a check for $25 to help you a little.  Don't tell your sisters but I want to do this for you.  Go to social security and find out your rights.  You are entitled to the money for you to live.  Save your receipts for food, gas, etc.
Do you still plan to come to see me this summer?  I wish I could come there now or for your graduation.  Julie sounds like a nice person and so does your boyfriend.
We are having a big snow storm blizzard right now.  It started 2 hours ago and is terrible.  I am trapped inside.
Smokie has been sick.  He had an infection. Plus he has digestion problems.  I now have to change his food.  He vomits unless he takes a digestion pill.  I hope he is better soon.
Aunt Ida keeps herself busy.  She goes to church every week.  She eats out with other families.  She went to the store early today because of the storm coming in.  She reads books and watches TV.
Bob wants to remarry me and bought me a diamond ring.  He gave me it January 2nd and no one knows about it in the family.  He is trying to walk with crutches.  He uses the wheel chair now.  I have my medicaid benefits and would lose them if I married him.
Your Valentine card is beautiful.  What you wrote inside is wonderful and you are a very special person to me.  You will soon be 18 years old.  Will you stay with Julie?  When do you graduate from school?  I am glad you like your new job plus I am proud of you to continue at Bradlees department store, plus go to school.
Then to have all this trouble with your father.  He is sick.
Lent starts in March.  I usually go to the services.  I go to either a Lutheran or Episcopal church.  I like to go to communion at 5 pm at St. Michael's which is Episcopal and it is on Saturday.  Sometimes I go to the Mormon church but I like my coffee and Brim too well.  Plus I can't afford the tithe.
My hips are big red sore bumps.  I have to take pain medicine and some day I can barely get around.  My feet  are a mess.  I had Impentigo on the toes really bad.  So some of my toes are purple.  What a mess I am.  I can barely walk.  My feet are so tender.
I think I will start playing my violin and restart lessons.  It helps pass the time.  My days are long.  I imagine you don't have enough hours in a day to get everything done.  My life used to be liek that before I got so sick.
Well, I will close for now.  Remember I love you dearly and am so upset for you.  I hope the check helps with expenses.  I miss you.  Please write me. when you can.  Remember I love you and you can always call or come here.

All my love,
Your mommy