July 21, 1988

Dear Betsy,

I am doing better but I fell last night at 4:30.  I lost my balance and crashed on the corner of a chair with my chest.  I have to have a chest x-ray because it hurts to laugh or cough.  I got a good breakfast today.  We all get along together.  We eat in the dining room, and watch TV.  I am going to start some crafts.  I saw someone made a little train so I thought I'd make one for  Markel.  I am still depressed inside but I want to get better.  I wish I could live in VA.  I need to be around you all.  I need a lot of support.  I have had a lot of losses in a short time.  I never figured I'd have a nervous breakdown.  I am in locked doors.  I like it.  I am leaving better and understanding more.  We get a lot of counselling.  I hope you can be proud of me for doing this.  I wish Sandy and I had talked before I came.

Grandma and Grandpa came for a meeting last night.  They were nicer.  Maybe they'll understand some day.  They are moving and probably won't come tonight.  I called Father Brown from St. Andrews Church (Episcopal).  He is my friend and is coming to see me today.  I hope.  He'll bring communion.  I think part of my problem (a big part) is Mormon church. It changed me.  I don't know my religion right now.  I haven't been to church since Bob died.  They plan to put me in grieving programs after I get out (support groups).  I really miss Bob.  He and I shared so many feelings and both of us being handicapped.  I really loved him so much and now he is gone.  Life has to go on.  I live alone and that could be a problem.  I need to get out more and do things.  I am on new drugs here plus Lithium for depression.  I don't feel sad any more but I know I am depressed.

So how are you doing?  I had to describe you to everyone here (social worker, therapist, etc) I said Betsy is vivacious, lovely, bubbly, and lovable, Betsy.  I do love you so much.

I will close now and hope I can get someone to mail your letter.  I love you.  I'll get better.  I am sure.

Love,
Mom

July 19, 1988

My Dear Betsy,

I thank you so much for caring so much about me.  I cam in Mercy Hospital yesterday and I had a terrible night.  My head hurts and I was nauseated.  It is very busy here.  I have to walk a lot and we all eat together.  You talk a lot.
I am waiting for my doctors.  I had blood work done and breakfast.  At 3:30 AM  I found out I could of had a sleeping pill.  They didn't tell me.  I have a nice private room and it is cool.  Thank Heavenly Father.

Did I tell you I made Markel the pink dress and panties?  I have a blue print to make now.  I made the new baby a 2 yard quilt.  It was so pretty.  Sandy has them.

I called Kirstie and she upset me.  She thought I shouldn't take pills and this was no big deal.  She is flying me to VA for Christmas.  You will be there, not you?  I want to see you so much.

I had a nice anointing and blessing last night.  I needed it.  I am in a Catholic Hospital.  They came in to give me Communion this AM but I said I wasn't Catholic (yet).

They check your purse, suitcases, etc and take things away.  I used to do this to others and now I am upset.

I really want to go home.  I pray I am doing the right thing.  Grandma and Grandpa are being helpful.  I keep crying but I know you are there for me.  Thanks honey.  I love you.  Well, I can't write longer.  Hope you are Okay.  Oh, I found a four month supply of Seldane so I'll send it soon.  It was never opened by Bob.  I am almost the big things and a few extras.  Got to get rid of a $1000 Ethan Allen Maple table and chairs.  Beautiful.  Are you needing one?  I am sure Grandma would give it to you.
I love you.  I am on a locked ward.  Scary.  Not any fun.

Write,
Love,
Mom

July 5, 1988

Dear Betsy,

Now that you are better I found my bottle of choledyl for you.  I needed it 1 1/2 years ago but no more.  Did you get your package?

I am going overboard sewing for a darling spoiled grand daughter.  I made her the dress and panties and have another cut out.  I bought her flannel for PJ's.  I bought her beautiful corduroy and peach kettlecloth to match.  I am so anxious to sew for her.  I hate sewing for myself and I should but Markel and new ones are special.  I loved sewing for you girls.  If Sandy has a boy I'll have to take a class.  I just want her to have a healthy baby.

My feel and ankles are a mess.  They are so swollen.  I'll probably have to go the doctors today or tomorrow.  I have terrible arthritis  in my left knee and back.  I could barely walk for 1/2 hour.  He gave me samples to take and they helped great.  Except my feet swelled and they are worse.

I put a Security Deposit down on an apartment in South End where I used to live in 1984.  I am busy packing and should be laying down but I got to get it done.  It will be nice and not cluttered.  I have to get ride of my parents beautiful maple table and chairs.  They are Ethan Allen.  I need a little table.  I could meals at home a lot.  I use the microwave and crock pot.
I got up at 1 AM because I couldn't sleep.  I hope I can get a nap today.

Isn't this heat awful.  They say it will be 100 today.  I need to get boxes so I can pack some more.  I need smaller ones for canned goods.  I just cleaned the cupborads out and now I start all over again.  I wish I had the legs and feet to do it all.  I hate soaking them in ice water every morning and night.

I just pray I get this apartment.  I put my $300 deposit in her mail slot.  I'll call today.  I am still working on Bob's insurance forms.  There is so much to do when someone dies.  He had no estate - just me.
I have Veteran headstone to get