This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Monday, April 30, 1984

April 30, 1984

Dear Betsy,
I was so happy to get your letter.  I wish I could help you more than I can.  I am so discouraged.  I loy on an air mattress day and evening.  I have very sore hips.  Dr. Lopez came at 12 Noon last week.  My ulcer on the hip is deep.  My feet are improving  I got out to church for the 1st time.  I am at the Zeph center now for counselling.  Grandma and Grandpa are very busy every day and evening.   I am on my own cooking, etc. so I have to be careful not to do too much.  It is really windy here today and coool.  At least the warm air feels good.  It has been a cold winter.
Dave sounds very nice.  He has a lot of good features.  I wish I could meet him.
I do rock sit up ups every day for my exercises.  I can't let my heels touch the floor.
I plan to go to some Bible studies this week.  Ihave to find something to do to pass the time.  I am lonely.  I need new friends and it is hard to do if you never get out.
I talked to Sandy two times last week.  She called me.  She said you seem happy.  I hope all is well with you.
Yes, I remember the coffee and dominoes.  How could I ever forget.
Do you like Country Western music?  I wish I could get it all the time.
I am reading "Jesus the Christ."  I have always wanted to do that.

May 1st
Tell Sandy her records should be sent to Mr. Cotton if they find them.  I called Springfield for her.
A big box of Current Stationary came today.  I don't sell it but we get it at discount.
I had to call in 13 refills of pill bottles for me.  I have to take over 3o pills a day.  I pay $14.41 and the government pays the rest.
It is cold here today.  I need milk again.  I may have a Spanish Souffle or else eggs and tuna and or big salad.
One of my friends from the 2nd ward gave me church news letters.  Her name is Karen Flock. Tell Sandy as she really knows her.
I sure have enjoyed your Easter Card.  It was so nice of you and it is right where I can see it.
Well, I must close.  I hope you get the Full time job at Wellbourne.  I am anxious to see you.  I miss you.

All my love,
Mom

With a little persuation from you - Grandma and Grandpa might come to your graduation.

Sunday, April 8, 1984

April 8, 1984

Dear Betsy,

Thank you for the beautiful Easter card and lovely Get well card.  I look at them all the time.  My feet are still sore but slowly getting there.  I now eat three meals a day and had cake and ice cream for dessert.  I get up at 9 am and have to take 13 pills plus many more all day long.  Ihave gained 6# now and this is the limit.  The church provided supper night this week and all Saint's Lutheran brought in my lunch every day so far.
I lost my big toe nail last night and the remains looks terrible.  Dr Lopez was supposed to come today.  It is 7 pm and no doctor so far.  I really like him and he is good to me.  My disease  is so rare and he studies it.
Grandma has done the dishes every day and Grandpa got groceries.  He also got gas in my car.
The apartment is just darling.  I have their really beautiful hide-a-way bed, an orange (dark) chair and 2 tables and a lamp.
Smokie is gone.  The funny think is that I really don't miss him so much.  He has a good home.
I have had lots of friends over. (I am fally asleep writing this)
Later
I am awake now.  Dr. Lopez hasn't come.  Grandma and Grandpa were just here.  She did my dishes for me.  They got your card and letter.  Please write Aunt Ida to thank her for the $10. She looks for a letter and wallet picture of you.  Could you please send me another wallet also so I can have some extras made.
You sound happy at Heidi's.  Did you go to Social services?  My soc. sec. number is … You should have had money as payee for yourself for March, April, May and June.
What are your plans for the summer?  I hope you do come and see me.
Well, I am out of news.  I have to soak my feet before I go to bed in cool water before I go to bed.  Remember I lov eyou so very much.  I miss you also.  Take care of yourself.  Keep me in your thoughts.
All my deepest love,
Your mom

April 9
So sorry you had an asthma attack.  I am glad it got better and your tummy also.  You should have had those cokes…especially during an attack.  Enclosed is a check for $5.  It isn't much but get what you need.  Don't ever be afraid to go to the hospital for care as someone will help you.  Have faith, honey.  I am glad David and his dad were so helpful.  Thank them for me.  Think about your future.  I love you.  Take care.  I'll look for the Bentyl and some Eurythromycin to have on hand.  Tell Sandy her letter is coming.  Tell no one about the $5.  Just between you and me.  All my love to a good daughter.

I love you,
Mommy