This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Thursday, July 25, 1985

July 25, 1985

Dear Betsy,
I haven't heard from you for so long.  Did I do something wrong?  Please write me.  Hav eyou taken vacation yet?  Have you been to the beach yet?
It is in the high 80s so I have been in the apartment most all the time.  Jeanette is coming over tonight to do my hair.  It is so dirty.  All of a sudden it gets dirty.  It is still short but growing.
I go to bed around 10-10:30 pm so I can sleep with my medicines.  I need to be off my feet for 12-14 hours a night.  That is hard to do.
I have been reading a lot.  I just got done with one book.  Today I read a religious book and the Bible.  I haven't been to church in ages.  It is so hot.
I did laundry all day today and it is up and down the stairs for everything so my legs are tired and my feet burn.  I have had a lot of problems with my legs and feet.  I had to soak them twice in a day a few days ago.
Bob is resting now.  We will eat pretty soon.  bob made coleslaw today and it is always good.  I am going to fry some zucchini.  It is really good.
I called in 2 perscriptions for refill.  They cost $80 at Lanes.  Ii don't know where I'll get the money.  We are broke.  We need low income housing.  We can't affort to live here.  The lists for housing are so long.  It may take a year or more before we can move.
So how are you Betsy?  I hope and pray you are well.
I just cut my hand on something .  I got my last load of laundry up.  I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and miss you.  Please remember I love you and always will.

All my love,
Mom

Saturday, July 13, 1985

July 13, 1985

Dear Betsy,
So what are you doing lately.  I wish you would write or call.  I miss you a lot.  How is work going?  Did you go to the beach yet?  Why haven't you written?  Did I say something wrong?  I worry about you.
I am making tuna fish salad for supper.  I hope it is good.  I have been having lots of trouble with my legs and feet.  I quit exercising on the bike and walking in the mall.  For one thing, it is too hot.  It cool for my feet (excuse the writing but I am lying on the sofa).
I have been reading a lot.  I read Hospital Nurse which was very good.  Now I am reading a biography called Emma Hale Smith.   The book is all about Joseph Smith's wife (Emma).  It is really very interesting.  I didn't go to church today.  It was raining.  Now, the sun is out.  I didn't get up until 12 noon.  I didn't sleep all fo the but I didn't care.  I just didn't care to get up.  I cried all last night.  I was drinking coffee but I got too nervous so I quit.  Then I am drpressed and hungry.  I cut my thyroid down a 1/2 grain.  I'll probably get fat.  I do a lot of arm lifts and some sit ups.
Do you still go to Rainbows?  I will get my 25 year pin in Eastern Stars next year.  That is a long time.
Do you have a summer tan?  How is work going?  How is Kirstie?  I hear she has Sandy's former job.  Doe she like it?  Are you still doing word processing?  Are you dating?  I wish I would hear from you - I am up at cheaper times.  I never know when to call you.  Have you heard from Sandy?  She called collect the other night.  I hadn't heard from her.  I called Kirstie last week and she was gone.  Your dad talked to me for 20 minutes.  He never mentioned you.
Well, I will close.  I am hungry and Bob is sleeping.  He sleeps days a lot.  He hasn't even had his pills yet and its 4 pm.  My face is sore on one side where I slept.  I had my hair done.  It is short and I wish it were longer.  The person who cut it when I had the person cut it twice after is was permed.  So she cut most of my perm off and made me mad.  It is still curly.
Grandma and Grandpa are in the process of moving.   I think they are going to be depressed after living in that big house.  I have to get ride of my dishes, silver and glasses.  I wish you were getting married.  Then I'd fill up your hope chest.
Remember I love you.  Please let me hear from you.  I  miss you.

All my love,
Mom