College is getting closer

I can't believe my oldest daughter is about to leave for college.  I hope I've done all I can, all that I should have to prepare her for this next stage of her life.  She is already starting to experience new and challenging emotions related to the subject.  Prior to graduation she was so excited - telling everyone where she is going, what she will be studying, and how excited she is to be going to the college of her choice.  Since then she's had quite a few days of spending time with friends, searching for a job and enjoying the beginning of "her last summer at home" (even though she'll be coming home for summer every year).

Last night the tears flowed like an unstoppable faucet as she stared into the screen of her computer.  The computer was saying, "It's time to register for classes - here is the class catalog - you can start tomorrow (not in those words).  Ironically, it was the same day that I booked out tickets to take her to college.  I was with her at this moment, checking to see if she received her itinerary.  I thought she'd be excited, but it was then, at that very moment, that she realized … this is real.  She is going to be away from family.  Far away from family.  She was unhappy.  She was so sad to be going so far away.

All I could do was rub her back and comfort her.  This is your dream - you'll be fine.  You'll be busy with classes, making new friends, engaged in activities at school and church, but all she heard was "i'll be away from family".

I know she'll be okay - and I'm so glad she had this reality now, and not at the doorstep of college doors on orientation day.  I feel for her - she is the oldest, going away first… going far away (and she is my one that never likes to be far away from family).

I'm confident she'll be fine, better than that, she'll thrive and surprise herself and us at how well she'll adjust and do because she always does.  She likes to succeed.  More importantly I know she has faith and trust her Heavenly Father, and I do too!  I know He'll watch over her and keep her on her path.

And, yes, it's not for a few more months!  I'm going to take advantage of every minute I can (starting with a "girls only night" tonight) with her, preparing her, strengthening her confidence and trust in herself and in the future and in God's plan.

sweet dreams!

Time is a great healer

I was so upset earlier tonight, and now only 3 hours later, after the kids have gone to sleep and the house is silent so that I have time to reflect, ponder and pray, I am at peace.   Thank goodness we have times like this to help keep the crazy moments in check.

It doesn't take long before the frustration transforms back into the true love and caring that we have for our children.  We continue with the regular needs/wishes/wants of the day or night and suddenly we feel better.  Before you know it you are giving goodnight hugs and kisses, tucking them into bed and telling them how very much you love them (and mean it!)

It's so good to get rid of negative feelings before heading to bed.  Peace is so comforting.

So Frustrated when it seems that nobody listens to me...

Why is it that when you are trying to have a somewhat serious conversation your children decide at that time to wack out on every “manners” rule or expectation you have and try every once of your patience.  I have two boys that are 4 years apart and for some reason they love to taunt and torment each other in the name of fun and in the name of pain.  Sometimes I think it’s just to get me mad, but I know they don’t even think that far ahead about it - they are both just stubborn about getting their way that when one of them taunts the other, the other feels he has to retaliate.  We’ve had talks to each of them about not seeking revenge, etc. but it seems to always repeat.  I’m so frustrated because I feel I’ve already talked to them BOTH about this several times and yet it has made no impact, no difference, no peace in my life.  They still can’t seem to keep their hands to themselves, keep away from each other, keep out of each others personal space, etc.  You get the drift!  AWE!!!!

So, then I am told - they are just being boys...stay out of it.  I do that until I hear one or the other or both cry out (which I knew was coming anyway).  That is what gets to me the most, I think.  They set themselves up for the predicable and preventable “accident” or pain of someone going “too far”.  I’m sick of it!