This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Monday, May 20, 1985

May 20, 1985

Dear Betsy,
Sandy arrived Friday and I pressed your dress.  She looked so pretty.  She forgot her flowers. They were so pretty and she wore them on her wrist.  I really didn't see much of her.  Just before she went to the airport (she was gone) Bob beat me and I am mean and cruel.  Don't show this letter to anyone.  Burn it.  I am at Sour Dough Charlies for 2 eggs and 2 toast and coffee with cream.  Sandy didn't even go to church with me.  When are you coming for a visit? I may leave by then and live somewhere else.  Bob seems to think he can sleep and wake up and all is forgotten.  I pout for ever.  His language is awful and he is so crude to say the least.  I don't want any other divorces but I can't live this way.  So maybe a legal separation.  I'll have no insurance so I don't know what to do.  I wish I could talk to you.  I feel like calling mom and asking her to talk with me.
So how are you?  You sound so good on the phone.  Thank you for calling.  Bob likes you.  He has a violent temper.  Don't worry about the time you call.  I can always wake up.  I just had 3 1/2 cups of coffee and it is good.  I know when I go to the doctor he will say no coffee.  Well, I should close and go home and work there in the kitchen.  Remember I love you so much.

All my love,
Mom
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