This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Wednesday, August 22, 1990

August 22, 1990

Dear Betsy,

How are you doing?  Did you get my letters?  How was your trip?  We had Earl's daughter and husband stay with us so they could have motel money.  They took us out to eat at a nice place Saturday.  The wedding was lovely and the reception was okay.  Her colors were burgundy and pink.  I had my hair done at Penney's in Lancaster at 8 AM.  Then I came home and made breakfast for our company.  Earl and I stopped at McDonald's for a Sausage McMuffin with egg and cheese.  It is very good.  I even wore my white shoes that I got married in.  I've only worn them 2 times.  I have a brand new pair of tennis shoes that are pink and white and they adjust across the top.  I bought a slacks pattern with a dress on it and I am anxious to start sewing.  I wear size 14 now in all clothes.  My medicine is making me gain weight and there is nothing I can do about it.  It is the Cortisone for the Scleroderma.  My biggest problem with it is I have a terrible swallowing.  Our bed is (head of bed) is up on 4 inch blocks which is supposed to help me.  I am on ulcer medicine my tummy is so sore.  My dear cat has been urinating and pooping on our carpet.  So we shut her up in the bathroom and she is very unhappy.  I even took her canned food last night thinking she might poop.  She cries all the time.  Our new puppy is outside because she got into everything and when we went away, oh what a mess.  We put her in the bathroom.  When we got home what a mess for us to clean up!  She doesn't bark yet for us.  She did once and that was it.  She is half Shepard and half back Labrador retriever.

We have no money except we charge but our payments are very high.  We have $50 cash until the …  Our checking account is the $50.  So I will finish this letter and then on the 1st, I can buy a roll of stamps.  I must have 30 outstanding medical bills.  Plus all the utilities, charge accounts.  So we won't be going out to eat at McDonald's or Bob Evans.  We usually go to breakfast at McDonald's and eat lunch or supper out.  I cook a lot.  We just charged a microwave so I can cook and bake in it.  The one we have now doesn't do anything.  It cooks or heats on high power, that's all.  It doesn't defrost, back a certain %'s.  This is a Sears one we are getting and we have to wait until they get in.

I have been busy pulling the weeds in front of the house.  It is a never ending job.  It does look better.  Earl has been busy cutting wood and getting ready for winter.

What should I do about the garments?  Should I call Salt Lake Distribution Center and get them when I can after the 1st?  I just thought you could get them quicker.  Just get the three bottoms now and send them.  I'll pay you.  I can wait on the tops.  If we had the money we would come there again and I could get my recommend  and we could go through the Temple together.    Oh.  That would be nice.  It is going to storm this afternoon.  I just put the light on so maybe I can see better.  We had a nice time when we visited last fall.  Hard to believe it has been that long.

Tomorrow we go to Circleville and take our library tapes back.  We get 4 videos every time we go.  Earl enjoys them a lot.  I listen and type, etc.  My hands are loosing feeling so I can't write much anymore.  It is cause by the Scleroderma.  I am supposed to go to Ohio State Hospital in Columbus.  My doctor is on vacation.  Maybe we will go to Chilecothe.  It is a lot closer.  If we can't do that, we will go to Toledo and see Dr. Shoen.  He has seen me a lot.  He researches Ertthromelagia and knows a lot about it.  The doctor that handles Scleroderma is called a rheumatoidologist and that is what Dr. Shoen is.  My hands shake most of the time and there must be something they can do.  Say a prayer for me.  I could use one.

Well, you will never guess who just came to see me from the church.  It was a retired couple like Earl and me.  No one can find us.  They live fairly close by and know the area.  So they decided to come and find us.  Now, they said my visiting teachers can find me and will be here next week.  This couple will be back in 2 weeks.  I need friends and I love people.

Alex is 2 in a couple of days.  It is hard to believe.  Then Markel has her third birthday.  I wish I could see them again.  I wish they could come here.

Earl's daughter and husband stayed here this past weekend and we had fun together.  Evelyn loves to cook so I am sending her some recipes.  I made these delicious bran muffins.  She loved them.  She is heavy set because she loves to eat.

I went to Circleville today because I complained that I never drive the car.  Earl go and get the tapes, Rx, and a cup of coffee.  I got everything and made it home safely.  I was so nervous from not driving for so long.  I didn't drink coffee.  I am trying to get my Temple Recommend.  How often do you get to the Temple?  I wish we could go through together.  Maybe soon.  I wish I had some friends.  It is lonely when Earl is outside.  He came in at 2 PM and was exhausted so he laid down an hour.  Now we are watching a video that I got today.  I also got a book called "The Awakening of the Soviet Union."  It is only 200 pages and it sounded good.  I can only have it for two weeks because it is a new book.  Well, I am out of news and will close.  Hope you are well and happy.  Remember that I love you dearly.  I have no stamps so you won't get this until after the first.  I miss you.

All my love,
Mom and Earl


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