This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Thursday, March 27, 1986

March 27, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I have called you so many times and no answer.  Last night I talked to Kristie for quite a while.  I have been sick and had hypothermia and forgot about everything.  I am fine now.  The doctors here in Toledo want to send me back to MAYO or to the Cleveland Clinic but we can't afford motel bills, etc.  We have insurance.  It is awful to have a rare disease like this.  It may be Dr. Harin's ideas weren't so wrong.  He is gone or I would contact him.  The swelling in my feet has gone down and I am alert and not slurring my speech.  I have low blood pressure and my meds make it 80/50 and I get dizzy.
Today I am driving 1/2 hour each way to get groceries in the South end.  Grandpa and Grandma usually get them but they are in Dallas.  Sunday is Easter and I am going to make it to church.  It is a long way but it is worth it.  I must wash and set my hair.  It is still curly but growing longer all the time.  Did I remember to thank you and Kirstie for the beautiful picture.  I just love it.  Kirstie said I have never written or called since Sandy left.  I have and I call 2 or 3 times and talked with your dad because Kirstie was out.  Please tell her.  I also wrote at Christmas and sent a present.  I know I have a bad memory but I am positive I have written, etc.  She never writes me.  I love you both and miss you.  When are you coming to see me?  How are you feeling?  I hope well.  Today is a lovely day.  Our apartment is a mess.  I haven't been able to do much of anything so I must get busy after Easter.  I'll fix my nails for Easter and wear the blue dress you picked out to marry Bob and pearls from you.  And Raffeine' perfume.  I wish I could have gotten my hair done.  So when do you start school?  Do you still like your car?  Min is 5 years old and starting to need repairs.
Well, I must close and go get all our groceries, etc.  I dread it.  Bob promised to meet me at the entrance and get some groceries.  I have to buy him beer and wine.
Remember I love you dearly.  I miss you.  Give my love to Kirstie and I will write her next.

All my love,
Mom

I love you - Happy Easter!!!

Tuesday, March 18, 1986

March 18, 1986

Dear Betsy,
Just a little Birthday card to say you're held in high regard and you're wished life's best without reserve for that is just what you deserve!
I hope your birthday is one of happiness.  I am proud of you.  I love the pictures of you and Kirstie.  I love you both for giving it to me.  I wish I had a couple wallet size.
Have a happy day.  You can always count on me.  Did you go in OES?  You never said.

Love,
Mom

Saturday, March 15, 1986

March 15, 1986

Dear Betsy,
Excuse me for not writing you except I am exhausted lately.  I had to go to an Endocrinologist last week and they sent me to the lab for thyroid tests.  If my thyroid comes back normal then he is going to give me cortison IV and see what my body does.  My temp has been between 91-95 degrees instead of 98.6 normal.  My ankles are so swollen.  Grandma came yesterday and said I look terrible.  Real nice to hear.  They are planning to go to see Uncle Dick next week.  My cat gets spayed on Wednesday.  She is so lovable.  We call her Kelly.
I am going to start exercising.  They have an exercise bike.  I don't get much exercise with my legs.
March 16
Today I got up at 2:40 and ate breakfast.  I spent the afternoon in the community center.  I had planned to get up at 8:15 and then overslept.
I bought this card from a lady here where I live.  Sorry I couldn't get out for something better.  You know I love you and miss you.
One of the residents has very high pressure and I have to take it every day.  My phone number is ….  I have call waiting.
I appreciate your letters.  Sorry I haven't felt well.  I'll write again soon.  Remember I love you dearly.

All my love,
Mom

Thursday, December 5, 1985

December 5, 1985

Dear Betsy,
I thought I'd send your card early so you put it up and think of me.  Thank you for your letter.    I love hearing from you.  Your cocktail party sounds nice.  I hope you enjoy it.  I will be mailing your Christmas package soon by UPS.
We may be moving to low income housing soon.  I cleaned for 3 days and the lady didn't come.  Bob is now in Toledo Hospital.  His one and only leg and foot really swelled.  He was on Prednisone 60 mgm.  They reduced it to Prednisone 10 mgm.  He had lots of diaretics.  His blood pressure was up also.
I am having trouble with one leg.  It is so hot and sore.  I can't stand it or sleep at night.  My cat is growing and lots of fun.  She sleeps a lot and eats good.  He cold is better.  She was really sick and had 4 shots and pills.  I am also having trouble with my stomach.  I hope it is better soon or I'll have another ulcer.
Today we got 1 1/2 inches of snow but it won't last.  I went to the bank and store while it snowed.  It was slippery.  When are you going to come see me?  I miss you.  I will move soon if we get the apartment.  It is a long ways from here.
The Prednisone made Bob feel better.  Now, he is grumpy and feels bad.  I hope he is better soon.  Your dad's cousin, Larry's wife, Janie is an RN and she took care of Bob one day.  She is really nice.
I really loved the Thanksgiving card.  I saved it in my memory box.  Sandy wrote that your dad and Alison may go to Switzerland for 2 days.  Lucky them!  How is Kirstie?  Is she still depressed because she is grounded?
Well, I will close so I can mail this for you.  I have little news.  Remember I love you so very much.  I miss you.  Write me again real soon.  I play Christmas records every day.

All my love,
Mom

Sunday, November 24, 1985

November 24, 1985

Dear Betsy,
Thank you so much for the lovely Thanksgiving card.  That was so nice and thoughtful of you.
I can't get out because it is so cold.  My feet get so sore.  Plus I have hypothermia.  My temp was 94 yesterday.  So I hope it warms up.  I asked a friend to come over tomorrow for coffee and visit.  Bob has to go to the doctor at 1:30.
Pur kitten, Kelly, is 12 weeks and growing.  She is very good.  She eats well but has a cold.  So somehow I got to get her to the vet for medicine.  She is really pretty.
Are you going to your Dad's for Thanksgiving?  I imagine Bob and I will be alone.  I have watched TV all day.  I couldn't go to church.
November 26
Well, I never got the letter finished.  Our kitten got really sick with croup, etc. and we gave her a 1/4 aspirin and she is feeling better but goes to the vet at 4:30.  We really love her.  Bob's church gave us frozen 11 1/2# turkey and pumpkin pie.  That was nice of them.  I am making meatball stroganoff tonight in the crockpot.  It was a lot of work plus I made a mincemeat pie.
Grandpa is 68 years today and has big Eastern Star things to do so they are not going out to eat.  They are taking Aunt Ida out on Thanksgiving.  It is 50 degrees today and I hope it stays there.  My feet do better and so does my temperature.  So are you coming for Christmas?  I'd love to see you again.  It has been a long time.  Bob really likes you.  We were so glad to get your card.  I get so upset at holidays without my daughters.  So how is work going?  I hope well.  Are you having a lot of rain?  We sure are.  A friend from church is taking me to the vet.  I can't drive very well with a kitten.  I am so afraid she'll get loose.  I plan to get some pictures of her.  We have to get her declawed soon.
Well, I am out of news.  Grandma and Grandpa are so busy with Eastern Stars.  Grandpa is in a lot of pain with his jaw.  Bob saw the doctor yesterday and is doing pretty good.  He has to see a dermatologist for his leg.  He is tired today.
Well, honey I must close.  I miss you so much and I love you dearly.

All my love,
Mom

Tuesday, November 12, 1985

November 12, 1985

Dear Betsy,
I am sorry I haven't written.  Bob is still in the hospital but should come home maybe tomorrow.  He has inflammation arteries and kidney damage.  He is going to have to be on large doses of cortisone.  His blood pressure medicine had to be increased.  They did a biopsy of the area on the temple of his face by his ear and we should have the results today.
I got up early today because  I had the Salvation Army come and get lots of things.  I then was tired of fell asleep from 11 am to 2:15 pm.  I went to the bank and now I am enjoying a cup of coffee at Dunkin Donuts.  I hope to see Bob tonight.  It is lonely for us both.  I think I will get some embroidery thread on the way home.  I have been knitting.  I made myself a blue hat and am working on a scarf to match.  It passes time.  I would love to make Bob a sweater.  It would be a hard job.  Grandma wants me to make her a vest and sweater.  I have the yarn.  I bought it years ago.
So how is your eye?  Is it any better?  I hope so.  Are you still on steroids?  I wrote Kirstie a letter.  She never writes me and I feel badly about it.
Grandpa took me to see Bob 2x.  I used handicapped services 2x and friends the rest of the time.
It has been raining and cold here for days.  I had to turn on the bedroom heat last night.  I stay up until 1 am  every night and watch TV.  I play my violin every day.
I missed yesterday.  Going to the hospital every day tires me out.  I smuggle Bob a beer.  He loves beer and misses it.
I get so itred of eating alone.  Bob is eating well at the hospital.  He is so tired and they don't let him rest.  I had to soak my feet in cold Betadine water last night.  I go to a doctor for my feet on the 21st and my own doctor in December.
The church is helping us with food and it helps.  Tomorrow is the day for the food truck.  I am eating more.  I lost 3 1/2# in a month.  My blood work was tested and my thyroid was high so I had to cut down a 1/2 grain like I was on for so long.  I am not as nervous.  I have to start taking Tagament because my supper doesn't agree with me.  I eat a lot.  I still love salads.
I hope you are doing okay.  I love to hear from you.  Are you coming for the holidays?  The airlines have reduced their fares.
Sandy probably has lots of snow.  She wrote me a week ago.  What do you want for Christmas?  I'd love to make you something but I haven't got much time before Christmas is here.
Well, I am out of news.  I will close.  Write or call me soon.  I love to hear from you.  Remember, I love you dearly and miss you so much.  It seems ages since I saw you.  Write or call when cheap time.  I love you.

All my love,
Mom

Saturday, October 5, 1985

October 5, 1985

Dear Betsy,
Well, I just called you and he said you had just left for a wedding.  I hope you are felling Ok.  Did your asthma attack get better?  I was lonely so I looked up your phone number, but you were gone.  What is Sandy's phone number?
Sally Mower sent a letter yesterday.  She and Mike are separated.  Ginny and Mike moved into an apartment but Ginny got married in a garden wedding.  Now, she is in Chicago.  Sally sounds disappointed.  She is going to school in Ridgecrest.  Ginny lives in Ridgecrest not Chicago.  Do you go to church, Betsy?  I plan to start going every Sunday at 11 am.  We go back to that time.  I dread winter and snow with the car.  It is hard on my feet plus I get hypothermia so badly.
I just took a short walk in the mall.  I need the exercise.  I am gaining weight and up to 122# from 116#.  I am on Premoin and it gains weight on me.  I can use it but it is all in the waist and belly.  I am in the menopause - oh happy day.  I have a terrible time sleeping and then I don't get up in the morning.  Tomorrow, Robin is coming to clean at long last.  It costs a lot but I need it down for me.  Last night I finally put the heat on.  Is it cold in Virginia?  It was 56 degrees here today and the sun just came out.
I read the BOM and listen to Mormon Tabernacle Choir on records.  I read when I can.  Bob sleeps a lot.  He went to American Legion Thursday and coming out his w/c tipped him over on cement.  He has a sore side and back.  I took him to the doctor yesterday.  He did nothing. Bob has elevated liver test, cholesterol and blood sugar.
Well, I don't have much news.  I hope you are better.  Write me soon or call me.  I love to hear from you.  Remember I love you so much.  I miss you.  I haven't seen you for ages.  Come see us.  I love you.

All my love,
Mom

I am proud of you and your Rainbow things.  You make me very happy.  I love you.
Mommy

Friday, September 27, 1985

September 27, 1985

Dear Betsy,
 
It has been so long since I got a letter from you.  I miss you.  How are you doing?  How is work going?  Sandy sent me a letter and card last week.  She sounds happy.  What do you think about the 2 Mexican earthquakes and hurricane Gloria?  What is the country coming to?  How are you doing with the boy friends?  Who are you dating?
Bob has a lot of head and jaw pain.  He sleeps a lot but is a lot of company to me.  Grandpa is in a lot of pain and takes medicine for his face.  He sleeps a lot in the afternoon, too.  Grandma is retired but keeps very busy.  They are all moved to the new location.  Did I tell you Ricky and Shelly were here for a week?  Really cute kids.  They are a lot of fun.
Ricky talks just like Uncle Dick.  He reminds me so much of Uncle Dick.  They drove here and back.  On the way back they stopped in Tennessee to pick up David at a golf tournament.  (I can't write very well).
When are you ever going to come and see us?  I had a good time with you last year.  I imagine you won't get any time off now until next year?
The Bishop came to see me this morning.  He had the new issue of the Ensign.  He read part of it to me.  I haven't been to the Mormon church in ages.  It was so hot.  It changes time on the 13 to the morning hours.  Do you go to church?
Are you still going to school?  I imagine you are very busy.  I just heard on the radio that the Hurricane Gloria hit New York.  I hope you don't get bad weather.  How far are you from New York?
My ankles are swollen.  I have to go to the store and bank this afternoon.  It looks like rain outside and it's 55 degrees.  I get my eyes examined on Friday.  I go to my doctor this past week and he changed my circulation pill.  I still have to soak my feet.
Well, I guess I am out of news.  I hope you are happy and well.  Write me please or call me.  I love you, Betsy.  I miss you.

All my love,
Mom

Thursday, August 22, 1985

August 22, 1985

Dear Betsy,
How are you doing?  I hope all is well and you are happy.  It is a nice day here.  I get up early and go to bed early.  I have a hard time sleeping.  My right hip is an open sore and it really hurts.  I am on Penacillin and I hope it improves.
Bob has not been well.   He is a little better today but still sleeps a lot and has a pain in his head.  He goes to the doctor tomorrow and I have to take him.
So how was your time at the beach?  I hope you had a lot of fun.  I bet you are really tan.  I would be a mess plus freckles.  Be glad you got that from your father.
I am going to a baby shower tonight at the church.  I hope I meet women.  I get so lonely and never go anywhere it seems.  I was going out for a salad bar but haven't for over a week.
Grandma and Grandpa are moved but they say they have a real mess.  They sold a lot of furniture and it was so pretty.  They eat out a lot since they moved.  I just talked to them and Sandy called them.  She is lonesome.  It must be hard when everyone is gone on break.  She has never called them before.
Well, I am out of news.  Hope you are well.  Remember, I love you very much.  I miss you.  Write me.

All my love,
Mom

Friday, August 2, 1985

August 2, 1985

Dear Betsy,
Sandy sent me your address.  I hope you are well and happy.  I miss your not writing or calling.  Are you still going to school?
I get up early now and eat.  Bob sleeps a lot.  It must be his medicines.  He is awake late at night.  I go to sleep around 11:30 pm.  I still drink a couple cups of coffee each day.
I think I will take up sewing again and maybe play the violin.
I had to take all my things from Grandma's and Grandpa's attic to storage yesterday.  What a mess.  I sure gave up a lot for garage sale.  If and when you get married I'll have dishes and glasses for you.  No hurry.  I even saved you booster chair for me as a grandmother.
I am reading a good book by Danielle Steel which belongs to Grandma.
It is cool in the mornings here.  By the afternoon it is in the eighty's.  I like 60-75 degree for my feet.
So what are you?  So you moved?  Are you living alone or what?  Do you have an apartment?  I am playing cassettes on my little player I like them.  One is Pat Boone's.  It is a religious tape.
I want to start a Bible study in my apartment and I  am going to put up notices on bulletin boards at stores.  I made nine 3x5 cards and hope I get some response.
Shelly and Ricky are helping Grandma and Grandpa move.  Oh, what a mess they.  They are moving to a new pretty condo.  I hope they like it.  It is a lot smaller than the big house.  My storage will cost $20 a month.  I want to move some things there from this basement.
Well, my pen doesn't like this side of paper.  Please remember I love you.  I am so worried about you.  I hope you are all right.  Please write or call.  I want to hear from you.

All my love,
Mom