October 24, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I just wrote Sandy.  She called yesterday and is bleeding heavily.  She went to the doctor and he is going to watch her.  She may have to have a D&C.  Markel is fine and still nursing.  Women who breast feed rarely bleed until 6-9 months after they deliver.  I never did.  She is on an estrogen pill also and started bleeding after she took it.  It doesn't sound good.  She hasn't sent the pictures and I asked to please send them.
By the way.  Grandma was so thrilled to get your card.  She didn't say who it was from but started describing it and said the color was lavender and I said "Oh, that must be from Betsy."  She read the card and said it was from you.  Anyway, you are the only grandchild who sent her one and she was happy about that.  She is 68.  She and Grandpa are going to the Smokey Mountains and Grand Chapter for a few days.  They leave tomorrow.  They are busy doing something most of the time.  Keeps them active.   Grandpa feels pretty good since the surgery took away the pain.
My feet are bad today.  I have a bladder infection and I think the medicine I started last night for it is causing them to be so red and hot.  It sure nauseated me.
So how are your jobs?  I bet you keep busy.  How is Kermon?  Does he go to school or work or both?
Bob has been in the hospital almost a month with high BP and I mean high.  He seems better now but it is still 150/90 to 190/100.  His arteries are shot.  Mine are about as bad.  Plus I keep gaining weight from the medicine they are giving me for my feet.  I gain a # a month.  I weight 130# now and I don't eat that much really.
I am not active and get little exercise because of my feet.  They were so very swollen when I got home from Provo.  It took a week on almost bed rest to get them down.  I loved Utah but the sun is hotter there and it was 80-85 degrees and the sun really bothers my feet.
I couldn't afford to move there really.  Sandy really wanted me to and I had to disappoint her.  I hated to say no.  I always wanted to live in the west but I guess it is better here for my legs.  Markel is so very beautiful and pretty.  Mark says she already weighs 10#.  Sandy is a good mother.  She said she needs to go to work.  They really need money.  I guess Mark isn't making much.  I hope things work out.  They seem very happy.  I took some pictures and I will get them developed and get you some.
Kirstie called.  She wants the dishes.  I think you and Kermon and Kirstie and Will should come here and go to the storage place and unload everything and take what you want.  Grandma pays $20 a month to store my things and some of Bob's.  Think about it.   Talk to Kirstie.  I can't go there and unload it.  It is on the 2nd story and a ladder to climb.  I can't do it.
Well, I will close now.  Please remember I love you so much and I miss you.   Take care of yourself and write.  I love hearing from you.  Remember I love you.

All my love,
Mom

What do you think about wall street?

October 10, 1987

Dear Betsy,
It was so good to get your letters.  I hope Sandy sends those pictures.  I would love to have them.
Markel is beautiful and pretty, etc.  Her face is nicely shaped.  She reminds me of you when you were that little.  That was 21 years ago.  Boy, I am getting old.
Sandy says she is going to have to go to work.  They have so little money.  I can't help them because I am poor also.
I can't move to Utah as much as I would like to.  I don't have the money to get there.  My legs are so swollen on the trip home.  It has taken a week off them.  I haven't had much energy lately.  I have to push myself to get going.  I was okay while in Utah.  I couldn't afford the motel room and meals for 8 or 9 days so I had to come home.  It is 48 degrees and no sun.  I came to Rudy's to get a hot bowl of chili.  It is really seasoned.  I eat just about everything now.  Bob has taught me that.  He is in the hospital for the 3rd time in 3 weeks.  His BP is up. Grandma and Grandpa are okay.  Grandpa had the surgery on his jaw and no more pain.  It is numb.  Your Grandma goes everywhere all the time.  I don't know how she does it.  She is tiny and thin.  She'll be 68  soon.  Grandpa will be 70 in November.   Aunt Ida is lazy like me only she has reason to be.  She is 85.  My appetite was so good and now it has died down.  I weigh 126# which is good for me.  All my weight is in the belly and waist.
I should go to the grocery store.  I have a bad cough.  Change in the climates I guess.  It was hot in Utah.  I do believe the sun would be too hot on my feet there.  I can no longer tolerate sun.
So you are sounding happy.  Is everything going okay?  How is Kermon?  Are you going to school or working?  Your dad sent me a post card from Hawaii which was nice.  I sent him and Alison one of Salt Lake Temple.  I hope it doesn't upset Alison.
I went to court about the divorce the day before I left for Utah and the trial had to be post pond and he has to be served with papers again because they made a mistake.
Well, I will close now.  Thanks again for writing and caring about me.  My life is lonely and I miss all of you so much.  I wish I could see you.  You mean so much to me.  Write me again soon.  I love you with all my heart.

All my love,
Mom

PS:  Don't forget I love you, honey

September 24, 1987

Dear Betsy,

Well, I made it to see the baby.  Sandy and Mark.  Markel is such a beauty.  Hard to believe.  It is hot here.  It is good to see everyone.   Holding Markel for the first time was wonderful.  I am in a motel.  I am not going to live here in Utah.  I'll write my feelings later.  Hope you are well.  I love you.

Love,
Mom

August 16, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I haven't heard from you for a while.  I hope you are well.  I am trapped in because of the extreme heat.  I hate summer because of my feet and legs.
Sandy's baby is small.  Grandma and Grandpa are paying for an OB consult which she saw.  The baby's heart beat is a little slow too.  She took a stress test yesterday.  I do pray all will be well.  Keep the baby and her in your prayers.  I am concerned.  She is working hard and has her hands full.  She is very tired.  She has applied for welfare and is supposed to get it soon.
Bob moved into an apartment around the corner from me.  He is on the phone or over her a lot.
I made a jello salad with fruit early today.  I made oatmeal but I still am hungry.  I at at 6 am. Did I tell you that I got 2 CEU's for RN by answering all questions right?  I want to do one on emphysema soon.  I haven't much energy.  Grandma and Grandpa brought some fruit goodies, meat, milk, etc. three days ago.  They stayed 45 minutes.
Today is ice cream social for Eastern Stars and it's going to be 95 degrees or more.  Aunt Ida is going.
Are you ready for college?  I bet you are excited.  I was when I went to Nursing school 24 years ago.
Kelly is my buddy.  She stays in the bedroom all day.  I sleep on the hideaway bed at night by the cooler.  Last night I drank a beer.  Tasted good.
Well, I am out of news.  Write me.  Remember I love you and miss you.  Take care and write.

All my love,
Mom

August 8, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I was certain I started a letter to you and stamped an envelope.  Anyway, I have searched all over and can't find it.  So I'll try again.
I have no energy.  My hemoglobin is low and I take potent iron.  My appetite is poor and I want to eat out which I can't.  I need to save money to go and see the grand baby.  I am mixed up about moving.  I can accept most things but I worry about finding the right doctor who does start all over again.  I've been through too much.
My apartment was exterminated last week along with everyone else.  Bob kept Kelly but she is back now.  I missed her.  She just came to sit where I am writing.
I found the only copy of our sealing and put it in my book of remembrance.  I have gained 5# which puts me at 125# which is good.
My new glasses are very strong and I am having trouble seeing everything.  I have to wear them all the time.  Not used to that.  I wish you were here.  Our weather is cloudy today.  Bob is supposed to move today around the hall from me.  He was mean to me yesterday and I got hurt psychologically.  Anyway, I was driving and he hit me.  I was right anyway but that is it.
I think I will go to church and McDonald's for breakfast for a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.  I get my coffee free because I have a golden buckeye card.  My breakfast costs $1.21.
I am sleeping on the hideaway bed so I can keep cool.  I open it every night.  A mess but the bedroom is too warm.
I had a delicious taco salad at Bob Evans yesterday.  I used 7 containers of salsa.
I will need your new address.  Let me know.  I hate Saturday and Sunday.  there is no one to call.  I don't have many friends because I have moved so much.
I hope you are breathing okay and doing well.  Please write.   Remember I love you dearly.  Miss you too.

Love,
Mom

July 31, 1987

Dear Betsy,
Well, I don't know when I will get this mailed since I have no stamps.  But I decided to write anyway.  Sandy called last night.  She was down.  She needs a $3600 loan for Mark to get a job.  I can't help her.  She said she was going to call you.  Did she?  She wants a job but can't get one because she is pregnant.  I want to go to Provo when she has the baby.  I may get a low income apartment there for two months.  Yet I am  worried about moving.  I should go and be happy.  I worry about my feet and legs and all the moving trauma.  My apartment will have to get air conditioning.  My apartment here is small but nice for sun and has good air conditioning.  I sleep in the Living room on sofa bed because bedroom is too warm.  I hope this heat ends soon.
My dad had a big tooth pulled today.  It is bleeding.  My new glasses aren't any good.  Things blurry.  I can't see with or without them.
I am anemic and have to take prescription iron.  I feel better but they constipate me.  Can't win.  If I don't take them I just lay around.

August 3
Well, I got a stamp so I can mail this.  I wake up very early.  I go to bed early too.  I even try to nap one hour every afternoon.  I feel better.  I got exterminated the other day and people from church helped a lot.  Bob sleeps most all day and up all night.  So he doesn't bother me.  Except --- except that he expects me to cash his check or take him, get him Lotto tickets, take him out to supper.  Then he is mean to me.  I need to move away except he covers me with beautiful medical insurance.  He even pays the premium.  But I can't live like this.  I wish I could work.  I will do my nursing '87 for continuing education.  I got the last one all night.  I was proud of myself.
Well, I will close.  Take care.  Write.  Give me new address.  I love you, honey.  Remember that.

All my love,
mom

June 20, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I got your letter today.  I was going to write you anyway.  Thanks for caring and the letter.
Days go so slow for me.  It is such a lonely life.  It is so hot here for my feet and legs.  I go to bed early and get up early.  Did I give you my new phone number?  It is …
So Kirstie has moved out.  Do you miss your fights?  How is your study?
I love my glasses and looked everywhere.  Well, today I found them and I am so glad.  I got to get my eyes examined.  I had to get 2 new RX's yesterday for $50 and only enough for 15 days.  It is terrible.  I got a Taco Salad but it made my belly upset but it was delicious.
tomorrow, my parents are taking me to brunch at Tinkos.  Aunt Ida is going and we leave here at 10:30 and go to Perrysburg.  It will be hard on me  but my dad will be happy.  I am glad they are paying for it.
June 21
It is Sunday AM and I just tried to call you but Alison said you were gone for the weekend.  I am sorry I missed you.  We went to the brunch and had a 1/2 hour wait.  It was huge  and really good.  I even ate dessert after lots of fruit, etc.  Then we came here and I gave Grandpa a little gift.
June 23
Bob and I would have been remarried 3 years day.  He forgot but we are going to LePeeps for fancy breakfast at 10 am tomorrow.  I will have the most delicious oatmeal and blueberries and cream, juice and whole wheat muffin and pot of coffee.  Really good and expensive too.
Yesterday I finished the baby blanket I  made for Sandy Hodge's baby.  It is 2 yards long and 60 inches wide and all bound by wide yellow satin.  It is so pretty.  I hope she likes it.
Last night and tonight "Women in White" are on.  It is so good and I will stay up late.  I decided to go to bed at 10:15 and up and on my feet in 12 hours.  The days are not so long that way.
Did I tell you I start on Intermediate sewing class on July 9th in the evenings?
Bob took me to the Olive Garden yesterday and I had a huge virgin Mary, big salad and really good eggplant.  I was stuffed.  He is good to me at times.
So you are dating Paul.  Tell me about him.  Is he nice, good looking, etc. and good to you?  What about Kermon?  By the way Grandma and Grandpa still have his clothes he left at their house.  Well, I am out of news.  Write me soon.  I love you so much.

All my love,
Mom

June 13, 1987

Dear Betsy,
Here I am writing you again.  A lot has happened.
I have been very dwon and unable to sleep.  I have a lot on my mind.  My parents are really upsetting.  The brakes on their precious car which is what I drive are shot.  I told them and told them.  Now everything will need replacing.  My dad knows nothing about cars.
I had to go to my doctor to get some help.  He put me on my estrogen only increased it.  Plus he wants me to take progestrone for 10 days a month.  I am going for a pap smear on July 10th  I will gain weight from the medicine.  I don't eat that much really.  I am making a batch of the most delicious chili.  I get up early.  Bob is coming later to eat with me.  We love hot spicy chili.  I learned to cook so different with Bob.  I even love avadcados.  I try lots of things.  I love italian and mexican food.  I don't like rice, macaroni, nooles or pastas.  I love vegetables, cottage cheese.  Before I go to bed I heat a cup of milk and add 1 tsp of nesltles Quick.  Relaxing.  Plus I take my calcium since I am getting older and I don't want osteoporous.
I am without a car and I hate it.  I can't do anything.  I have to go early because of the heat.  I wish summer were over for my sake.  I like cool days and dreary.  The sun really gets my feet and knees.  I don't know if I'll get to church tomorrow either or even where to go.
I am still mixed up about that.  I like the Episcopal church but it isn't air conditioning.  I think I'll go back to being a Presbyterian and forget all others.  Between religion, my disease, my parnets and Bob, it is no wonder I am a basket case.  You know, it broke my heart not to go to Sandy's wedding or get to meet Mark and see all of you.  I was so upset that day.  I had my ticket all paid for and I lost my $200 or I wish everyone could understand (including me) that I am no longer able to do much.  I love you so much and your sisters and I am missing so much.  It is very sad.  But I can't dwell on it.  I pray for you every day.  I do feel better today and I slept better.
Bob and I may not go back.  I like my freedom.  I guess I belong alone with the conditions I have to live under.  I like things neat and he doesn't.  I can't take clutter.
Well, the brakes were through to metal but my dad is going to pay for it all.  Thank God for that.
Well, I guess I'll close now.  Please write and understand my confusion.  I love you, dearly.  I miss you.  come and see me.

All my love,
Mom

June 11, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I mailed your last letter on Monday and got your package that afternoon.  The gown is lovely. It fits too.  I really love it.  Thank you so very much.  I love you and I do appreciate your love.
I don't know when I wrote you this week that Bob and I are trying to work things out.  I took my phone off the hook for several days and I wouldn't let him in.  I finally met him and talked to him.  I have been so mixed up.  I need someone and I do love him.  He truly is patient and loves me.  I can't leave a part.  So he is over here and sleeps on the sofa.  This morning I was up at 5:30 and it was cool.  I ate and I went with him to the White Hut.  I had coffee and bought him breakfast.  I then went to Dunkin Donuts and got 1 1/2 dozen donuts.  Then I got a few groceries.  The sad part is the brakes on the car.  They are grinding and it has to go for probably over $300 work.  I have $130 charged on Sohio for air conditioning.  I don't know what to do about money.  My mom owns the car and they pay for nothing.  Only Bob understands.
Tomorrow I go to the doctor and have to spend a lot of money on medicine refills.  So I am very poor.
I would love to move away from all this but I guess I can't.
So how are you and your love life?  What is going on?  We could write a book.  You know Bob really understands me and helps me a lot.  I love with a lot of pain.  My legs and feet burn and throb so much at night and morning.  It is a hard life.  If it weren't for you girls and Bob, I'd probably quit.
Tonight Kirstie graduates.  Seems like you just did.  Time goes faster as a person gets older. It is true.  I hope she has a nice graduation.  I miss these times.  I missed all of yours.  At least I got to install you as Worthy Advisor and now you are a beautiful Eastern Star.  I am so proud of you.
I hope you understand about me and Bob.  I do care for him and I guess we really belong together.  He is really good to me.
Sandy called yesterday.  She is fine.  She and Mark went to the doctor and she is 6 months pregnant.  All is well.  She is on vitamins.  She is leaving Sunday for Provo to babysit for Mark's niece for a month.
I have a new phone number…  I don't have to give it out.
Well, I am out of news.  I love you honey and thank you for the beautiful gift.  It was so nice of you.  You are special and a wonderful daughter.  I wish I was more of your life.  I missed so much but I can't dwell on it.  I love you.

All my love,
Mom

Write me honey!!!

June 7, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I received a letter from you yesterday.  I love to hear from you.  So you are going to George Mason.  Is that in Reston?  Will you still love at home?  It is hard to believe Kirstie is going to graduate.  I am proud of you.  Now, if both you and I could put our love life on the right track!  Sounds like you are going to have a ball at the beach.  I did things like that when I was younger.  Your Dad and I went boating a lot and we loved it.  I always go sunburned.  Bob drives me crazy for the most part.  When he leaves me alone my ulcer is okay.  Yesterday it felt close to bleeding.  Today I am okay.  He called at 6:45 and I didn't answer.  So he rang my phone 75 times and it drove me crazy.  When it quit, I took it off the hook and left it.  I hope you aren't trying to get me.
I can't come for Kirstie's graduation because of my legs and I'll be upset because I'll miss it.  I love her just as much.  I wish she would write me or call.  I don't know what to do for a gift.  She would probably appreciate the money.  You came to visit me.  We had a very nice visit, didn't we.  You know, Bob really thinks you are great!  He puts so much pressure on me and makes me feel guilty.  I must not care too much for him.  I feel like his slave.  He has me cook, do dishes, etc.  I hardly have many dishes when he is not here.  I am trying to eat foods high in calcium.
Now, as far as know who is "Mr. Right," you will when it happens.  Sounds like Dave and you were the happiest.  Now I knew your dad was Mr. Right and I felt very much in love.  I still think a lot of him.  We really had a good marriage. He traveled too much and I worked too much.  I should never worked so much on 3-11 shift.  I missed a lot of all of your lives.  Then my health went bad.  Sometimes I think we were happiest up Sugarloaf Mountain.  We love it there and I worked hard and so did your dad.  I miss it.  I could have had a great career but we moved a lot and then my legs got so bad.  I did work hard.  So did your dad.  I am so happy I had three daughters and they are well and love life.  Soon I'll have a grandchild.  Hard to believe.
So I made a mess of my life.  I probably should never married Bob.  I was lonely, sick, etc.  We only knew each other for one and 1/2 months before sivore.  He was nice to everyone.  Now he is mad at the world.  I still see good sides of him.  Somehow I don't think things could work out.  What do you think?  Your dad never used bad language.  I just heard on TV that you never get over your first love.  I think that is true.  What do you think?
I bought a Farberware 8 cup coffee maker.  I had a new automatic drip and hated it.  I make 4 cups of coffee every morning which is 2 big mugs full.  It is delicious.  Then I go to the community room for a small cup around 10 am.  Do you ever drink coffee?  Nurses love coffee.
I can't exercise anymore because I have a abdominal hernia.  I walk a little in the closest mall and climb some steps.  So I got a little bigger belly but I can't help it.  I weight 122$#.
Bob took me to Red Lobster for lunch yesterday.  I had a virgin Mary with celery.  Then I had scallops and shrimp with tossed salad and cauliflower.  Everything was delicious.  Then we went to TCBY for yogurt.  Oh, I love that stuff.  My friend, Judy goes to get it every day.  It is a long way for me.
Grandpa got groceries for me on Friday.  It is hard for me to do in the heat.  Grandma and he are nice to me now.  She is so busy.  Today she has hives.  She is back working plus the Eastern Stars.  I dearly loved the picture of you.  You are so beautiful, really.
I will always treasure it.  Thank you so much.  I thank you so much for your letters, etc.  I really appreciate them so much.
Kelly is fine.  She loves the afternoon sun.  I really love her.  She listens to me a lot.  She is a great comfort.  The days are so long.
Well, I am out of news.  Remember I love you so very much.  I'd love to see you.  Maybe you could come before school starts.  Are you going to work too?
I miss you, honey.  Write soon.

All my love,
Mom