This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Friday, March 20, 1987

March 20, 1987

Dear Betsy,

I am sorry I haven't called you for your birthday.  I am very sick and with a bad chest cold and asthma.  I am really wheezing.  The doctor put me on choleydol 200 mgm 3x a day and it helps.  I cough all the time, etc.  I have never had asthma before.  Grandpa has it also.  I really feel for you.  I am glad you are better though.  You are had asthma bad when you were little.
I got Sandy's wedding invitation yesterday.  I am upset because she didn't say Judith E. Thompson which is my legal name.  Bob is upset also.  I imagine your Dad and Alison are also.  I don't know why she did it that way.
Did you get your birthday present yet?  I hope so.  Does it fit?  I don't know when to call you. When is a good time?
Kelly is fine.  She is so cute.  I really love her.  She sleeps by me and is my baby.  She is a tiny pretty Siamese cat.  She probably doesn't help my asthma.
I would like to just lay down and sleep away this misery but I won't.  I went to bed at 8 PM last night because I was so sick.  I had 101 fever, etc.  I haven't been sick in 5 years.
I don't know if I can make it to Salt Lake with my legs and feet.  I will probably be very miserable.  My back is bad again.  I have to see the back doctor March 31.  I will have to have to x-rays over again.  It has been 11 years since I have had trouble.  I probably need a back brace or spinal fusion operation.  It is perfect these days I understand.
Well, I will close.  Write me soon.  I love you so much.

All my love,
Mom

Friday, March 13, 1987

March 13, 1987

Dear Betsy,

Your birthday is a good day to put into words the feelings too seldom expressed.  Like how special you are, how much you are loved, how you're wished all life's brightest and best …
It is so wonderful having a daughter like you who has such a dear, thoughtful way, and your birthday's a good day to put into words all the joy you put into each day.

Happy Birthday with love,

All my Love,
I love you,
Mom

PS:  I hope and pray that you know how very much I love you.  I still remember all about you as a precious baby.  Now, you are 21 and grown up.  Always remember that your mom will love you forever.

Wednesday, March 4, 1987

March 4, 1987

Dear Betsy,
Well, here is March.  I understand you called Sandy last night.  She is so excited about getting married.  I am so happy for her.  I called her at 6:00 her time this morning.  Of course I woke her up.  I am going to Provo on April 2nd from Detroit and l will leave April 5th.  I hope you and Kirstie go.  I want to see you.  How are you?  Betsy, I go to bed early now and up at 6 am. So call me anytime before 8 am.  It is cheap then.  I am going to wear a powder blue dress with white in it.  I hope you like it.
I am at MCO Clinic and hospital.  I saw Dr. Hageman, my cardiovascular doctor.  He took my left big toe nail off and cut the right one way down.  They die with fungus because of the poor circulation.  I fell on my left knee three months ago and it has a  bump on it.  He thought it was a cyst and tried to aspirate it.  I had a little blood but no fluid.  I rode an exercise bike last night 20 miles for 5 minutes.  My heart beat was so fast and my legs about doubled over.  I am out of shape.  He said to do it 10 miles / 5 minutes for a month and then go to 20 / 5 minutes.  Plus I should swim a lot.  I wonder where I can swim cheap.  Got any ideas?  I am writing this while waiting for Bob.  He has real problems.  His only leg is dying and he will probably do surgery will is they can't do a by-pass.  The question is can he survive a by-pass?
he is at least a 6 hour one and of the aorta and renal arteries.  He is having more tests now plus x-rays and blood work to determine if his heart can take it.  He is in a catch 22 and the prognosis is bad.
I have to stand by him no matter what.  We go out together and he eats in my apartment.  He is depressed.  His Dad died at 44 with CA of rectum.  He even died of CA breat and his mom had CA breast.  Now has has severe rectal pain and blood.  I am worried.
I am home now and about to leave for church for Ash Wednesday services.  Bob is sleeping.
I have yours and Kirstie's birthday presents and will try and mail them this week.  I hope they fit and you like them.
Take care of yourself.  Write or call.  I love you dearly and miss you.  See you soon.

All my love,
Mom

Friday, February 20, 1987

February 20, 1987

Dear Betsy,
I was so thrilled with your phone call on my birthday and the other day.  It is great talking to you.  Just think in less than a month you will be 21 years old.  It is hard to believe.  I am very proud of you.  I am glad you are happy and going to college this fall.  Will you still work?
I love my beautiful Christmas present.   I called Penney's last night and reordere the comforter and sheets.  I am taking the others back today.  It was so wonderful of you and I was so surprised.
Bob bought me some really pretty bikinis and my 1st teddy.  It is lavender and sexy.  He is over a lot and we sleep on the hadeaway bed.  Don't tell anyone.

Feb 21.
Just talked to you and got your letter.  I am glad you and Kermon are back together.  Bob is a sickman.  He is napping now.  I am baking a meat loaf and baked potatoes.  I cook a lot and love it.  I am gaining some weight.  I even have some gray hair on the top of my pretty auburn hair.  Did I tell you I had it cut short and a curly perm.  All I do is wash it and pick it and it dries on its own.  It is cute and I look so much younger.  Well, I spent money yesterday at Penneys.  I got bikinis and teddy and a beautiful gown set and a nice casual dress.  Plus I really felt sexy and got you and Kirstie some beautiful things for your birthdays.  I also got myself 2 half slips - perfect.
Grandma and Grandpa are coming back from Florida on Wednesday.  I guess they are having a good time.  Both are tired.
I read a lot and enjoy that.  I watch little TV.  Aunt Ida is fine.  I go to the South End again tomorrow and will get a coffee pot and eat at Rudys for hot dog and chilli.  I go to West Toledo all afternoon today after I go to the point and get Kelly's distemper shot.  I sure love my little cat.  I made back an eggs today for Bob and I.
Bob's only leg has no pulse in the groin, behind the knee and foot.  He has a start of gangreen on 2 toes.  He has to have a molecule x-ray of the Aorta on Thursday.  They want to do a by-pass.  Six years ago they said it was impossible and lost his left leg.  He is afraid he can't have a general anesthetic.  He is sure he will die.  I keep trying to encourage him.  I have to go to the same cardivascular doctor Wednesday.  My 2 big toes are full of fungus because of bad circulation.  One of the toes is full of pus under it.  Ugly.  Yesterday, my feet got so hot and swollen from shopping.  Bob and I went to Friendly's for ice cream and coffee.  Then I went to a pharmacy to buy the cheapest ASA I could find.  I could bearly walk.  None of the clerks would get me water.  Well, a customer looked at my red swollen feet and said.  I will walk to the pharmacy and get a glass of water and she did.  I said God bless you.  There are some kind people left in the world after all.
Well, 12 o'clock news says you have loads of snow.  We are warm and sunny.  I guess I should close and get this in the mail.  Write me or call me.  I really do love you.  I hope all is well with you.  Can we see each other soon?  Id' love it.  Give my love to Kirstie.  Tell her, that her once a year letter is long overdue.  Take care.  I love you.

All my love,
Your mom

Thursday, January 22, 1987

before Feb 20, 1987

Dear Betsy,
It was nice to get your letter.  I am sorry I haven't written you but I have been really busy moving.  I am now in the big tall new building.  It is much nicer.  People over here are really nice.  Bob and I are separated but everything is okay.  We are not divorcing.  We have a lot of problems but things can be worked out.
Onthe news last night I saw you had a lot of snow.  It is cold here but sunny.  It looks like summer except for the snow.
I play Euchre and Aggravation a lot in the community room.  I take blood pressure every Thursday.  I like all the people.  I am the youngest here.  I read books and magazines.
I am still unpacking.  I have a one bedroom apartment.  The kitchen is small but I don't need a lot of space.  My furniture is nice.  I try to keep it picked up.  My 45th birthday is soon.  My parents always go to Bill Knapps because I will get 45% off my meal and a cake.  It will be nice.
Well, I will close now because I have little news.  Sorry I haven't written.  I hope to write Kirstie tomorrow.  Are you working and going to school too?  Sorry to hear about you and Kermon.  Take care now and write me more often.  I hopeyou are feeling better.  Remember I love you and miss you very much.

All my love,
Mom

Saturday, November 22, 1986

November 22, 1986

Dear Betsy,
Bob has been in the hospital over three weeks.  He is bored and home soon he hopes.  He was in ICU twice because of his blood pressure.  What are you doing for Thanksgiving?  Is that when you are going to Colorado?  I'd love to see more of you.  I miss you.  I really do appreciate your letters.  They brighten the day.  We will probably eat in the community center for free.  Gram and Gramp and Aunt Ida will eat out.  Gramp's birthday is the day before and we will eat there on the 26th.  Aunt Ida used to.  She still does really good for 84 years old.
I go see Bob every day and he appreciates it.  I plan to go to church tomorrow.
Kelly is shedding and losing weight.  The vet says she is depressed because Bob is gone.  Have you ever heard of a depressed cat?
I listen to music every day.  I enjoy it.  I watch a little TV.  I like the evening soaps.  They are all the same though.
Well, I have little news.  Hope you enjoy Colorado.  Write again soon.  Have a nice Thanksgiving.  I miss you and love you dearly.

All my love,
Mom

Wednesday, October 22, 1986

October 22, 1986

Dearest Betsy,
Please forgive me for not writing but I have not been very well.  I had pneumonia with a terrible cough.  Plus my feet have been a real mess.  I feel better now. I do want to thank you for your letters.  So you are wearing glasses.  I bet you look nice in them.  I have to wear mine all the time.  I can't see very well with them.
So you have fallen in love with Kermon.  That is so great.  I hope everything goes well.  How often do you see him?
One of your letters you mentioned "Why were things so different than 2 years ago?"  One reason is I only saw you 30-45 minutes this time.  Last time you were here a week and stayed with me.  I wish I could have seen more of you.  My shoulder hurt so badly - It seems to be already better except I lift the w/c too much.
Bob is doing alright.  His head hurt and he slept so much.  His blood pressure was too high.  It is now down.  I game him a hair cut but he needs a barber that is for sure .  This is a pretty time of year (my favorite).  I bought some nice things there for my Christmas present, etc.  I love to go.
My parents gave me their 1983 Omega Oldsmobile and took my car and sold it.  I love the car.  It has power brakes and power steering.It has cruise control.  It is sand beige and seats 4.
My mother's birthday is Friday so we will all go to Bill Knapp's for supper.  A lady here made a kitchen towel, pot holder, etc.  It is a set and cost $5.00  I hope she likes it.
I am making chili in the crock pot now.  It will cook all day.  It should be good.  We both love chili.
My apartment is a disaster.  We had to unload every cupboard, etc. so they could spray.  We took Kelly to Aunt Ida and Bob and I went to Red Roof Inn.  Well, 4 days later we discovered our big freezer off.  It had blood everywhere and is was full of food.  We may take them to court. We haven't the money to replace it.  We had 24# of beef, 3 roasts, and a pot roast.  We had shrimp and fish and pot pie.  Very upsetting.  I hate living here but we can't afford much else.  Our rent went down starting in January.
My cat Kelly is fine.  She is so spoiled and purrs all day.  She loves to be combed.  We love Kelly even Bob admits it.
Well, I have no news.  I miss you and really love you.  Sorry I haven't written.  Please understand.

All my love,
Mom

Tell Kirstie that I love her and she will hear from me soon.

Thursday, June 5, 1986

June 5, 1986

Dear Betsy,
Today is a dark and rainy day.  I got up at 7:00 pm yesterday and had the worst case of diarrhea ever but OK today.  So how are you?  I enjoy your letters so much.  Bob ate breakfast.  Now he is laying down.  Tonight I am cooking liver.  I love it.  Today I work in the library for 1-3 pm.  Then, tomorrow I take blood pressure for everyone who lives here and it is well over 200.  I have never done that before.

June 9
Sorry it has taken so long to write this letter.  I have had little energy and my feet have really been bothering me.  I have to soak them 2-3 x a day in a pan of ice H20.  I do the laundry.  It is hard for me.  Bob is doing okay except he fell off the bed again and broke the skin on his knee wide open.  It is a mess.  My left hip has a deep crater.  It hurts at night.  I go to Cleveland Clinic for sure on Wednesday at 12:30.  I may be hospitalized for a week.  I don't know.  My feet are worse.  We are renting a car and someone from here is taking us.  I am not telling my parents.  They don't think Bob should go and I do.  It would cost northing to go with them.  But I want Bob there.  I hope they can help me.
So how are you?  I miss you.  So does Bob.  He is fond of you.  It is hot here.  I go out in the mornings when possible.  I am at McDonalds now for Sanka.  I came here for breakfast with a friend.  I have bacon, egg, cheese biscuit.  I always it.  I love it so much.  I took Bob home some pancakes and he cooked a big Italian sausage to go with it and put them in the microwave.
I am glad you are signed up for classes.  When do you start?  In the fall?  How many hours will you work?  You must be going to school after work hours.  I am proud of you.
Are you coming to Toledo this summer to see me?  I miss you.  It has been 2 years.
Well, I am out of news.  Write me back soon.  I love you so very much.  I love to hear from you.

All my love,
Mom

Sunday, May 25, 1986

May 25, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I went to McDonald's this morning for coffee, orange juice, and a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit.  it was so good.  I came home and brought Bob, pancakes which he like.  So did our cat.  I just went to the store and spent fourteen dollars and was worried I had enough for $5.  I had a $5 gift certificate.  You don't get much for your money these days.  I am at Dunkin Donuts on my way home for coffee so I found this paper in my purse and decided to write again.
Gram doesn't like Bob and told me so plus I should have never married him.  Well, that is my business and he is good to me.  He sleeps days so I get lonely or bored.  We spend our evenings together.  He stays up late at night and reads a lot.  I may start playing the violin again.  The only problem is I have to play with my feet elevated.  It is uncomfortable.  

Later
I am home again and waiting to make supper.  How is Kirstie?  Does she get my letters?  She never writes and I miss her.  Tell her I love her.  I love you, too.  It is hard to believe that you are 20 years old.
I haven't any news but I wanted you to know how much I care about you and miss you.
Write when you can.  I love getting your letters.  Take care of yourself.  Enjoy every day.  It is important.  My fun days are gone, but I can't dwell on it.  I think I will do some geneology.  Bob is going to start going to church with me.  I would like that.

All my Love,
Mommy


I LOVE YOU!!!

Thanks for the letters.
I save them all.

Wednesday, May 21, 1986

May 21, 1986

Dear Betsy,
I was so happy to get your inspiring letter.  I appreciate your writing.
My legs and feet are a mess and I am going to Cleveland Clinic in one week on May 28.  I will have a complete work up.  It iwill be like going to MAYO Clinic which I did 5 years ago.  My doctor thinks I may have what Dr. Haun said in 1979- collegen disease with erythromolagia is secondary which is what I have primary.  Very rare and painful.  Grandma and Grandpa are taking me (I think).
May 24
I never got that picture of you and Jim.  I got an empty envelope.  You must be losing your marbles like me!!  hee hee
I went to a vascular doctor yesterday.  He was very understanding byt offers little hope for improvement.  Maybe Cleveland Clinic will help.  I had blood drawn yesterday for more tests.  A friend is driving Bob and me to Cleveland Clinic.  We are renting the car for a day.  It will be hard for me to do.  I will be so exhausted.
I am trying to sleep on my back at night because my hips get big sore holes in them.  My left hip is so sore.
I just made stuffed green peppers.  We love them.  I am going to make meatball stroganoff tomorrow.  It should be good.  I have to go to the store also plus church.  I washed and set my hair today.  It is really growing and thick.
Well, I just went to get the mail and got a letter from you.  Do you think you can come?  I miss you so much.  I don't know the cost but I think Piedmont is direct to Toledo.  Sandy has flown it.
Jim sounds like a guy.  Are you still going with him?  Take your time.
My cat Kelly is a doll.  She is meowing all the time for petting or being held.  I will take this to the post office tomrrow so you get it.  I'd like to move west but I imagine we are stuck in Toledo.  Bob has never seen the beautiful country out west.  I watch a lot of TV.  Bob sleeps during the day.
I must close.  I love you so much.  I miss you honey.  I hope and pray you can come.  Thank you for writing.

All my love,
Mom