This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Tuesday, June 16, 1981

June 16, 1981

Dear Betsy, Sandy and Kirstie,

I am writing to all of you on the same stationary as I wanted to send these three little gifts to you to let you know that I think of you all the time and I miss you very much.  I wish I could see you.  I am supposed to go to MAYO clinic on the 28th of June through Detroit.  I will probably be there one week.  I am scared of what they will say as my feet really hurt.  Tomorrow is prayer group at 6:30 and I hope I can make it there.

Today I went no where as it was so humid and hot and my feet were really sore.  I made banana not bread a few nights ago.  I cleaned the apartment last night but I messed it up today.  I am still trying to read and getting fat.  How are all of you?  Is school over yet?  When are you coming here?  I see the doctors tomorrow and also go to physical therapy for my hand.  It cooled off a lot tonight.  It has been so hot and humid here.  We had lots of rain.  Grandpa is going to play golf in the morning.  He will enjoy it very much.  I have a prayer group at 6:30 AM.  A friend is taking me to breakfast on Thursday.  It is a sourdough Charlie's and they have a good breakfast so all say.  Uncle Dick's birthday is Saturday and he will be 37 years old.  It is already midnight and I am still up.  I have to soak my feet yet and set up my breakfast so I can eat easier when I get home from the prayer group.  Sandy, I hope to send you Heidi like you said you wanted.  Are you coming back here to live with me or what  Please express how you really feel.  I wish all of you would write me.  I look every day for a letter.  I need to do my devotionals more than I do.  I read but not enough.  I want to sew and mend some clothes.  I need material as Betsy has all I liked and used.  Well, for the past 2 days Sandy hasn't called me in the morning.  What happened?  Is it too much trouble?  I am nothing but problems.  I am on some new medicine and they make me sleepy during the day.  All morning I am so tired and have to force myself to move.  I have lots of phone calls to make.  I miss you all so much.  Why does this have to happen like this?  Why couldn't we have been a happy family?  I am so lonely.  At least you are all together.  I am scare to go to MAYO.  It really costs a lot of money.  I guess I really have no good news at this time.  I hope you have a nice day this Sunday with your Father on his day.  You must serve him breakfast in bed.  He would like that.

I hope you are all happy.  I miss you so much.  I can never tell you how much I love you in words on paper.  Please remember me and how much I love you and always will.  I am so sorry that I had to get so ill that I couldn't care for you.  Always remember that you are so very dear in my heart and I love you all with all my heart.  Uncle Dick has a birthday on the 20th.  Do you hear from your friends?  I wish that you would write me.  I am going to do some reading now and mending.  I sure miss you not being here, Sandy.  Do you miss me?  WRITE!  I have to worry about getting a few groceries.  I'd like to see a movie also but I haven't the money for all that.  I don't know how  I'd get along without Food Stamps.  It is 81 degrees now.  It was cool early this morning.  Really nice for my feet.  I eat ice cream every night now and really look forward to it.  Do you all eat well?  Are you dieting?  You look nice in your pictures.  Mom and Aunt Ida went to a luncheon with the Pinochile Club and then to the theater to see "Hello Dolly."  I hope they had a good time.  Dad went golfing and the Heatherdowns Country Club all day.  I hope he had fun.  He needs to get out more and use up his energy.  Are you babysitting much these days?  Have you many friends?  I hope so.  Elaine was over on Sunday.  She is working 3-11 PM now part time and going to school to get her RN.  She is a good friend.  She is tired today and started her period and has a headache.  I still use her typewriter.  I don't know what I would do without it.  My hand has not improved and it is discouraging.  I wish I could afford to go out to eat tonight as I am so tired of eating alone every night.  I may bake some muffins or bread tonight.  The church could use some on Sunday.  Well, I must close so this can get mailed.  I hope you are all well.  Please write to me soon ….. all of you!  When can you come to visit?  Remember that I love you all very much.  Take care of yourselves.  I love you.

All my love,


Mom
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