Dear Sally,
It was sure good to talk with you tonight. I am so lonely and scared. I go to MAYO clinic on the 28th by plane. I am scared of getting there and what the outcome will be. Everyone here seems to think I belong there. I wish I had more faith. I my have to change climates. I have been much worse here with the increased humidity. I would have to live somewhere alone most likely and where there were good medical facilities. It is so lonely without Sandy. I think she is happy with her sisters and that is important. I am sure Garry will take care of her. I miss them so much. It has been so long since I saw them last. I can now walk some with the use of a cane and have my own private wheel chair. It is nice. I have a walker and a pair of crutches also. It finally rained here tonight which was needed and maybe my feet will be better. I just go them cool in cold water. It took over an hour. They are still swollen badly. I went to the store tonight and got a few necessities. I can hardly make it. My parents want to take me to a steak house for supper and I hope I can go. They have a big salad bar and that is what I love. I still eat my big breakfast and egg or meat or cottage cheese. I have started to gain some weight also. I hope I can exercise some day and move it around. I still have no use of my right hand and have to go to physical therapy every day at 3:30. It is very frustrating to have this palsy. I c. if she knows anything about MAYO. If she does left me know. I know nothing about the area. I hope my mother still goes. It is scary but hopefully all will go well.
June 5
My one visiting teacher is supposed to call tomorrow and see if I need anything. My dad runs errands a lot and I go to therapy every day at the hospital on my hand. I saw the psychiatrist yesterday and he will be seeing me regularly after I go to MAYO. I like him. I am on Welfare so I think the State pays for it since I have no money. I am now soaking the feet and ankles are so swollen. I think it is the humidity. I will probably have to move to a dry climate. I hope I will move close to you all. My phone bill is high this month and I shouldn't use it at all. I get so lonely now with Sandy gone. She left before I came home from the hospital. I then had to box her things and send them plus I cleaned all the drawers and closets out and put my things in them as we were so crowded for space. I have a small apartment and it is hard with all I did gave. I had to sell most of the good things in order to live. Sandy seems happy and only wrote me once. In fact they all owe me letters. Sandy said she took the smallest room but they are renting a big 2 story house and Garry complains because he wants to build a big house and borrow money. He has to be crazy to think I would ever give him money. He won't even let me see the girls. I miss them so much. I hope to sew me some clothes soon. I haven't done anything since we moved here and Betsy has my machine so I have to use my Aunt Ida's old one. I am invited to my cousin's wedding a week from Friday in a Catholic church. It is going to be huge. Then a friend's daughter is getting married on the 20th in Findlay and I am invited. I only hope the weather is improved so I can go. My car has no air conditioning. I sold the Gremlin and Dad bought me a 1973 Ford Galaxy and it is a gas hog with no air. However, it only had 28,000 miles. The owner hardly ever used it. So how is all the family and the weather in the summer. I bet you are out at the pool all the time. It sounds good. I bet the boys are really growing. Are the girls a big help to you? Sandy loves to hear from Ginny so have her write Sandy in VA. I can sell Shakelee products now and use them. I drink the protein drink for short distances with the cane. It feels good. It is hard to be so dependent on my parents when it should be reversed roles. Dad runs errands a lot and mom does a lot of my laundry since the machines cost $1 per load and are in the basement. Please excuse this typing as it is all left handed and electric and I never learned how to type in a class. Mom has an upset stomach and I am worried. My ulcers feel okay but I take a lot of medicine for it plus iron. I had six units of blood as my hemoglobin was only 6.0. It is no wonder I passed out and was so weak. Well, I must close and get to bed. Hopefully as it is 12:30 and a friend calls me at 6:30 every morning so I get up and start the day. She has been so good to me and helped so much. I only wish the Mormon sisters helped here. I finally got the Sacrament last Sunday for the first time since the fall came. It is not like CA. I live in Chicago and were really spread out but a very active church. Oh well, I keep saying to myself -- It is not the people that make the church true. However, I wish they were more helpful since my parents judge them but they only help when absolutely necessary. Sandy went to school with the Bishop's daughter. She was nice. Sandy was active and attended the meetings. The Bishop wants me out to meetings but I guess he doesn't understand that I am not supposed to go out at all. I have to stay in and that is why I had 2 bleeding ulcers. Well, I must close. Say hello to everyone for me. Thanks again for getting me the bread. I sure appreciate it and enjoy it. It doesn't taste salty at all like the breads do here. Take care of yourself and your family. Remember me to all. Tell them to write. I am lonely and scared of this MAYO trip and what they will find and the prognosis. Pray and Pray some more. I sure miss you.
All my love,
Judy
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