This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Friday, June 12, 1981

June 12, 1981

Dear Betsy,

I hope by the time you get this letter that your finals are over.  I hope that you did well.  I miss your not writing me and it sounds like your dad hasn't been telling you that I called.  I am lonely today.  My feet are sore and swollen and it is hot outside.  I go to MAYO clinic on the 28th for a week, hopefully.  Lori is getting married this Friday night and it is a big wedding.  I wish you could go.  She is such a cute girl and it is going to be a super wedding.  Well, I have a four month old kitten and it is a tiger color and really lovable.  I think I will name him Samson.  It is cute and I will try to get a picture of him.  Maybe a friend can take one of me holding him outside since I have no flash attachment.  I would love to sew but need Grandma's if I do and that is a lot of trouble.  I wear shorts most of the time because of my legs.  The mail just came and I got a card from the Rainbow assembly.  Tell them thank you very much.  I hope that all of you enjoy Rainbows.  I miss you so much and am so lonely right now.  I wish I could see you.  When will your dad let you come to see me?  I made apple coffee cake the other  night and gave it to a friend.  I squeezed 3 pounds of oranges that Sandy left in the basement.  Tell her there were three pounds apples and three pounds rotten onions down in the basement also.  What a mess.  It is 80 outside.  I think the humidity is making my legs worse.  My back bothers me lately because they stopped all the meds for it because of the two ulcers.  It is a losing battle.  My living room and kitchen are a mess as I have been trying to clean out boxes of things from the basement.  Samson thinks he is supposed to help me all the time.  He loves to sit on my lap.  He scratched my leg last night when he jumped into the wheel chair.  I wish Sandy could see my new wheel chair and my canes.  She would be proud of me walking.  I do look handicapped and it is hard to take but I am better than I was thanks to God and all the answered prayers.  I only wish I had you children and could love you and be your mom.  My heart breaks and the tears run when I think of you.  Your cat is in my bed all the time and sleeps with me and so do Sandy's and Kirstie's animals.  I hope you are well and happy.  Please try and write me.  I love to hear from you and it seems like ages since you wrote.  Are you going to summer school?  I hope you pass good old Geometry.  I feel for you as it was my favorite subject.  I started to read The Wildest Heart by Rosemary Rodgers.  It is good but I have other books I want to read.  I love to read and it is the one thing I can still do.  I wear my glasses most all the time now.  Well, I must close.  You write me soon.  Remember that I love you so very much.  Say a prayer for me.  I love you.

Love,
Mom

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