This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Monday, February 1, 1988

February 1, 1988

Dear Betsy,
I am playing one of your tapes now.  I listened to them yesterday and they are beautiful.  I am home from the hospital.  I was in 11 days.  I miss the ultrasound and hot packs to my back.  It is dreary and raining here and getting colder.  I go to my back doctor tomorrow.  I will get the treatments on out patient basis at St. Charles.  They really help my back.  My back is sore now because it is damp.
I lost a lot of weight but have gained back 2# already.  My birthday is coming up.  I'll be 46.  Mom and dad are taking me to Bill Knapp's for 46% off my bill.  I have to get my drivers license soon.  I hope my eyes pass the test.  I do feel better.  I am not vomiting.  The doctor put me on an antidepressant and it helped but I got the shakes so I didn't take it the past 2 nights.  I am no so nervous which I am happy about.  I saw Aunt Ida on Saturday.  She looks really bad.  She responded to me more than anyone so far.  She can't talk or mover her right side.  I did things to make her more comfortable.  Mom told her she had me as her special nurse.  She seemed to like that.  I bought something for her dry lips.
Saturday I had my thick hair thinned and it feels better.  I am going to let it grow long.  I hate it now.  It is so course and bushy.  I bought a good conditioner yesterday.  I have to wash it today to make it look better.
I went to church yesterday.  I hadn't been in quite a while.  I never felt like going.  I got up today at 6:30 am and ate and got busy.  I love the music I hear of your tapes right now.
My 25th class reunion of Nursing school is the weekend of June 11.  It costs $30 a person.  I plan to go somehow.  I'll have to prop my feet and legs up.  I have lived in this apartment for one year and my pictures still aren't up.  I need 2 room darkening shades also.
My mom has Aunt Ida's power of attorney.  I guess the nursing home gets all Aunt Ida's money and house.  Mom wants to sell her car.  The one bedroom outfit is mine because Grandpa Deakin gave it to me.  I'd like her big TV.  If only they would give you kids the furniture and things.  I know Sandy and Mark could use it.  Maybe, you, Kirstie, Sandy and Mark could come and unload my storage cage and get the furniture some weekend soon.  Think about it.  There is a lot for all!!!  and free!!!
I haven't heard from Sandy lately.  I hope all is well.  I bet Markel gets prettier every day.  I would love to move to VA and be around all of you.  I could watch Markel grow.  Who knows, you could get married and have a baby.
I drink Shakley's meal shakes between meals.  I put vanilla in them and use the vanilla meal shake.
I hope all is well.  Write me soon.  I love to hear from you and appreciate your letters.
Remember, honey, I love you very much.  I'd love to see you.  Come visit me.  You could stay with me as I have a sofa bed.  Think about it.
What is happening with Kermon?  Write.
Love and kisses.
All my love,
Mom

The music is so pretty.  Thanks!
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