This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Friday, February 12, 1988

February 12, 1988

Hi Honey,
So good to talk with you.  I really do enjoy our talks.  You do not know how much I love you.  I am sending the enclosed check to help with the phone bill.  It isn't much but I hope it helps.
I am hypothermia today with a temp of 95.  My speech is slurred and my head is spinning.  I have a call into the doctor.  I hope he doesn't put me in the hospital.
We are having a snow storm.  All schools are closed.  The wind is blowing.  I can't go out.  Tomorrow I start PT at the hospital across the street.  They will do ultrasound and then hot packs to my back.  It really helped when I was in the hospital.
I am going to see the social worker this afternoon.  She comes to help with medicaid.  I want to divorce Bob.  Right now he pays my insurance premiums and I get my meds with little cost.  But, everything is mailed to him.  So I feel very trapped.  If Aunt Ida's will is for my mom, I plan to move to a nice apartment and they will help with the rent.  Most one bedroom apartments start at $300.  Right now Bob lives next to me and bugs me all the time.  It is very upsetting.  People here probably think I am awful being his wife.  He embarrasses me.  I want to be free of him forever.  He is changing for the worst.  I can't take much more.  Can you understand what I am saying?  I wish I could start all over again.  I should never have married him in the 1st place, but he was so nice to me.  He is terrible now.  His language is vulgar.  Oh well, live and learn.
So, how is life with Kermon?  Has he come around yet?  How was your date you talked about, it was the older man?
Someone in here braved the snow and wind and got a gallon of milk.  Grandma and Grandpa had to see Aunt Ida's lawyer.  I was supposed to see my attorney.  Now he will call hopefully about the divorce.  I can't wait much longer.  You see, when I went to court in December, the refreeze reused to accept the papers because Bob's name was misspelled.  So he has to be served papers all over again.  He will be furious because he doesn't want a divorce.  Yesterday he gave the most gold watch and I took it.
I sure Sandy isn't pregnant.  That is not what she needs.  Maybe it is just emotional.  I'll guess we have to wait to see.
Well, I am out of any good news so I'll close.  Your letters and phone calls mean so much to me.  Remember I love you dearly.

All my love,
Mommy
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