This is my mother. She left me when I was just 14 years old. I saw her a few times from teenage through the typical college years (although I didn’t have typical college years) and then she passed away before I married or had children. She was a wonderful woman that I know I would talk to her often if she were alive, but I really never got the chance.

The most current entries are things I would tell her and only her ... because they aren’t meant to be heard, just vented (if she were alive). The majority of this blog are letters she wrote to me (and a few to my sisters) during the years that we were apart.

Tuesday, February 16, 1988

February 16, 1988

Dear Betsy,
I am trying to write this letter by laying on my right side.  It is very difficult to do but my left leg is red so I changed to laying on the right side for a while.  I haven't been feeling well.  My BP was low and I felt weak but better today.
Bob has really been bugging and now he is in the hospital.  I am not going to see him.  My attorney is changing the legal separation to a divorce.  He will be furious.  He swears at me.  Then when he is sick he pounds on my door and says, "Judy, please help me."  Being a nurse it is my professional duty to help a sick person.  I got him a doctor's appointment and he is in the hospital.  He doesn't take his medicine or eat.  He always wants to go out to eat.  I am not supposed to lift more than 10# and his wheel chair weighs 50#.
Grandma and Grandpa are leaving tomorrow for Florida.  I hope they have a good time.  They need it.  They got me my groceries Saturday which I was glad for.
So how is your love life?  What about your feelings about Kermon?  I think he is using you.  Don't be available all the time.  Have you met anyone new yet?
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Easter will be early this year.  I might go for services close by.  The LDS church is 30 minutes away which is a total of an hour driving.  It is going to be 40 degrees or higher.  the Missionary sisters are coming tomorrow to do the Spiritual Living lesson.  Do you go to church?  I still don't know where I belong.  I know where I don't belong though.  I guess I'll always be a Mormon.  I believe their doctrine.  We have three wards now.
Thank you for the nice Valentine and remembering me.  No one else did.  I love to hear from you.  It means so much to me that you care.  I love you!!!
I really enjoy listening to my cassettes.  It helps pass the time and the days are long.  I am awake from 5:30 am on through the day.  I go to bed early because of my legs.  I have to be off them a lot.  I dread summer and the heat.
I am going to start eating more good food.  I have lost almost 10#.  Today I ate whole wheat toast with poached egg and bowl of cereal plus juice.  I feel better at 125#.  I only weigh 118#.
My head has been feeling weird lately and I don't know why.
Well, honey, I guess I am out of news.  If I hurry I can get this in the mail today.  All I have to do is walk down the hall.
Remember I love you so very much.  Write soon, honey.

All my love,
Mom
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