Dear Betsy,
Today is a blue rainy Monday I am at Ponderosa eating soup & salad. Grandma said you are too thin. Why did you lose weight? I hope you are well. I have been on my feet a lot more. I walk the mall. Then I go to bed and wake up 2 hours later. I went and got coffee and donuts last night for Bob and me. I stayed awake and then went to bed.
Bob and I live together but I am not happy. I hold back the tears. His language is awful and he is mean and crude. I don't know what to do. I see my psychiatrist this week. I hope he helps me. Bob is a good person. He is up all night and sometimes days and some days (most) he sleeps so he is little company for me. He was like this before but he changed but fooled me. If I divorce him, I have no hospitalization or drug or doctor coverage. If we separate I do but I want to be free of him. I wouldn't if we separate. He really likes you and is worried for you are too thin. I wish you would come for a visit soon. I miss you a lot. You are good for me. When are your vacation times? Sandy had a good time here. She look so pretty in your dress. I finally got our wedding pictures developed and I'll get a copy of the best one for you.
I have little news. I got part of your Christmas present. I spent a lot of money at the mall walking around. I will go when I finish letter and walk. Then I'll do exercises (rocks) and go to bed early. Bob could care less what I do.
I really enjoy and appreciate your letters. I know you are thinking of me. I wish we had more memories. Oh, Grandma and Grandpa sold their house. Now they need to buy a condominium. They are so busy but enjoying their short trip to Virginia. They had a good time with all of you.
Well, I will close and go to the mall and walk. Take care. WRITE! Remember I love you so very much & miss you.
All my love,
Mommy
Monday, June 10, 1985
Monday, May 27, 1985
May 27, 1985
Dear Betsy,
Things are better between Bob and me. He still sleeps a lot but he needs it. I drive to the mall most mornings and walk all over and go in stores. It is bard when it is so hot. I go in the mroning. My ankles swell but I get bored here all day long. Time drags. I blew Sandy's prom pictures but Nancy got good ones. I send you our favorite wedding picture next letter.
I bought myself a brown miniture Bible and Triple and a small hymnal. I also got a purse so I can carry them when I get to the mall because I drink Friendly's good coffee. I weight 120# probably more by now. I eat so little I don't know where it comes from. I like my short hair. It is a shock to lots of people. I need to wash and blow dry it. Bob needs a hair cut very badly.
So how is life with you. Are you will so busy. I love to hear from you. When are you coming to Toledo? How will you come? How is the truck? Do you still use it every day? How is your love life? Gee, I am out of news. I may go out for eggs and toast and sourdough for 95 cents (2 eggs, 2 toast, plus coffee). It does me good and I like it. I was going to go with a friend but it is really wet outside. Plus, it is turning cool again but hard rain. Excuse my scribbling. It is hard to write laying on the sofa.
Remember I love you and miss you so very much. I hope you come soon. Bob likes you a lot. WRITE.
All my love,
Mom
Things are better between Bob and me. He still sleeps a lot but he needs it. I drive to the mall most mornings and walk all over and go in stores. It is bard when it is so hot. I go in the mroning. My ankles swell but I get bored here all day long. Time drags. I blew Sandy's prom pictures but Nancy got good ones. I send you our favorite wedding picture next letter.
I bought myself a brown miniture Bible and Triple and a small hymnal. I also got a purse so I can carry them when I get to the mall because I drink Friendly's good coffee. I weight 120# probably more by now. I eat so little I don't know where it comes from. I like my short hair. It is a shock to lots of people. I need to wash and blow dry it. Bob needs a hair cut very badly.
So how is life with you. Are you will so busy. I love to hear from you. When are you coming to Toledo? How will you come? How is the truck? Do you still use it every day? How is your love life? Gee, I am out of news. I may go out for eggs and toast and sourdough for 95 cents (2 eggs, 2 toast, plus coffee). It does me good and I like it. I was going to go with a friend but it is really wet outside. Plus, it is turning cool again but hard rain. Excuse my scribbling. It is hard to write laying on the sofa.
Remember I love you and miss you so very much. I hope you come soon. Bob likes you a lot. WRITE.
All my love,
Mom
Wednesday, May 22, 1985
May 22, 1985
Dear Betsy,
How are you doing? Bob and I are trying to patch things up. I have to pay bills today and I hate it. We don't have the money like I wish. I have to balance the account first. My legs are hot today. When do you think you'll come in June? Sandy leaves soon for BYU. How is your college? I walk 2 x a day when cool outside for exercise. It should help me. I walked last summer. I also exercise 2 x a day. I can't do much. In June I start to swim with the handicapped society at the YMCA on East side. They pick me up. I hope I can do it. It would be so good for me and fun.
I have film to be developed with our wedding pictures and Sandy's prom. She looked so pretty in your dress. I am glad you let her wear it. I pressed it. Then she didn't have a long slip but Nancy came to the rescue. I got her flowers.
Oh, I got a new red dress for Penecost Sunday when you are supposed to wear red. It has white lace on the collar with a v neck. It is long and flared skirt. The top of the dress is blossy. You'd like it. I have had a dress since you helped me pick out my wedding dress in teal blue. I really like that dress and my pearls. Did I ever tell you Bob bought me a 14K gold cross and chain. Plus he bought me new wedding and engagement rings. They are pretty.
I know Bob loves me. He is a sick man and stays up late at night. He sleeps late so I am lonely a lot. I go to 2 doctors this week. One tomorrow and one the next day. I drink ice tea now. It is a novelty for me.
Well, I must close. Out of news. Thanks for calling me. I love you so very much. I miss you.
All my love,
Mom
Monday, May 20, 1985
May 20, 1985
Dear Betsy,
Sandy arrived Friday and I pressed your dress. She looked so pretty. She forgot her flowers. They were so pretty and she wore them on her wrist. I really didn't see much of her. Just before she went to the airport (she was gone) Bob beat me and I am mean and cruel. Don't show this letter to anyone. Burn it. I am at Sour Dough Charlies for 2 eggs and 2 toast and coffee with cream. Sandy didn't even go to church with me. When are you coming for a visit? I may leave by then and live somewhere else. Bob seems to think he can sleep and wake up and all is forgotten. I pout for ever. His language is awful and he is so crude to say the least. I don't want any other divorces but I can't live this way. So maybe a legal separation. I'll have no insurance so I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to you. I feel like calling mom and asking her to talk with me.
So how are you? You sound so good on the phone. Thank you for calling. Bob likes you. He has a violent temper. Don't worry about the time you call. I can always wake up. I just had 3 1/2 cups of coffee and it is good. I know when I go to the doctor he will say no coffee. Well, I should close and go home and work there in the kitchen. Remember I love you so much.
All my love,
Mom
Sandy arrived Friday and I pressed your dress. She looked so pretty. She forgot her flowers. They were so pretty and she wore them on her wrist. I really didn't see much of her. Just before she went to the airport (she was gone) Bob beat me and I am mean and cruel. Don't show this letter to anyone. Burn it. I am at Sour Dough Charlies for 2 eggs and 2 toast and coffee with cream. Sandy didn't even go to church with me. When are you coming for a visit? I may leave by then and live somewhere else. Bob seems to think he can sleep and wake up and all is forgotten. I pout for ever. His language is awful and he is so crude to say the least. I don't want any other divorces but I can't live this way. So maybe a legal separation. I'll have no insurance so I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to you. I feel like calling mom and asking her to talk with me.
So how are you? You sound so good on the phone. Thank you for calling. Bob likes you. He has a violent temper. Don't worry about the time you call. I can always wake up. I just had 3 1/2 cups of coffee and it is good. I know when I go to the doctor he will say no coffee. Well, I should close and go home and work there in the kitchen. Remember I love you so much.
All my love,
Mom
Thursday, May 16, 1985
May 16, 1985
Dear Betsy,
It was so good to talk to you Tuesday. I stayed awake. That time you called and went to sleep on the phone. I must have had a low body temperature because I don't even remember. I don't go to sleep for long time a night but have to stay off my feet.
So when are you coming to see me and Bob? It has almost been one year. We did have a good time. I want to get my film developed so I can get our wedding pictures for you to keep. We have been married almost one year (June 23). We were married May 4, 1982 the 1st time. Bob still sleeps during the day. He got me a beautiful gold Rafenice spray and real perfume. It was a special price. It still cost a lot. I keep having hot flashes. They are terrible. I take Premarin but it must not be enought. I want a red dress and I ordered one and it didn't fit. I hope Sandy has a really good time. I sure was worried she wasnt' going to make it. It is really nice of you to take her to the airport. I really appreciate it and I know Sandy does. Last night Bob and I went our for dinner. I got a Harvey Wallbanger. It was good. Bob had wine. That drink to set my spinning and it never phased me. I guess I'll go back to scotch and H2O or whiskey sour. I drink a lot of ice tea. It is much cooler today but supposed to rain. I love it in the 60's for my feet. These days are rare. It has really been too hot. No spring at all. I love spring and fall. I can do so much more. Robin is coming today to do laundry and clean tomorrow. Bob is getting a hair cut. He looks like a shaggy dog. My hair so really short and it needs washing but I am afriad to wash it.
I never used a curling iron before. I had it a whole year already.
Well, I hope you come soon. I am anxious to see you. So is Bob. So you are going to the beach and have a condo? Neat! So how is school? It is hard to work and go to school at night. Do you have a boy friend? What about Brian?
Well, I will close now. Write me soon. Remember I love you dearly and miss you. I am so glad you called. Take care. I love you.
All my love,
Mom
It was so good to talk to you Tuesday. I stayed awake. That time you called and went to sleep on the phone. I must have had a low body temperature because I don't even remember. I don't go to sleep for long time a night but have to stay off my feet.
So when are you coming to see me and Bob? It has almost been one year. We did have a good time. I want to get my film developed so I can get our wedding pictures for you to keep. We have been married almost one year (June 23). We were married May 4, 1982 the 1st time. Bob still sleeps during the day. He got me a beautiful gold Rafenice spray and real perfume. It was a special price. It still cost a lot. I keep having hot flashes. They are terrible. I take Premarin but it must not be enought. I want a red dress and I ordered one and it didn't fit. I hope Sandy has a really good time. I sure was worried she wasnt' going to make it. It is really nice of you to take her to the airport. I really appreciate it and I know Sandy does. Last night Bob and I went our for dinner. I got a Harvey Wallbanger. It was good. Bob had wine. That drink to set my spinning and it never phased me. I guess I'll go back to scotch and H2O or whiskey sour. I drink a lot of ice tea. It is much cooler today but supposed to rain. I love it in the 60's for my feet. These days are rare. It has really been too hot. No spring at all. I love spring and fall. I can do so much more. Robin is coming today to do laundry and clean tomorrow. Bob is getting a hair cut. He looks like a shaggy dog. My hair so really short and it needs washing but I am afriad to wash it.
I never used a curling iron before. I had it a whole year already.
Well, I hope you come soon. I am anxious to see you. So is Bob. So you are going to the beach and have a condo? Neat! So how is school? It is hard to work and go to school at night. Do you have a boy friend? What about Brian?
Well, I will close now. Write me soon. Remember I love you dearly and miss you. I am so glad you called. Take care. I love you.
All my love,
Mom
Friday, April 26, 1985
April 26, 1985
Dear Betsy,
When I opened my door this morning I was thrilled to find a package from you. I love the baby dolls and gown and robe, too. I go to the doctor this afternoon but have some errands. It is 75 degrees out better than 89 like last week. It was so nice and thought of you to get some pretty things for me. I really love them. You know Grandma never said a word about my bikinis I bought when you were here last June. When are you going to come again? We had so much fun. How is work going? Do you keep busy? How is your love life? Aunt Ida is planning to come over today but she had better hurry. Bob went to the doctor also. He should be back soon.
We got bananas and strawberries yesterday and they were sure good on my cereal. Yummy. I have gained weight. I needed it. I was skinny. I want to go swimming to get some exercise. I may go soon. My hair is really long and think. I need a head band for it to keep it out of my face. It is wavy and coarse - hard to handle but I get too cold with short hair. Plus Bob doesn't like short hair. Is your hair long? It is so pretty.
I loved the Easter card and put it on the TV for all to see. Grandpa goes to the special neurologist Monday for his pain. He is miserable with it.
I have errands to run before my doctor's appointment. Aunt Ida was just here. She took a jump suit Sandy bought and changed her mind.
This is close to the end of the month and we are poor. I will stop and get some headbands and coffee (free) at Churchill's. I am having trouble sleeping lately.
It is now 80 degrees and I went to Ponderosa for a big salad and fruit. It was very good. I hope we don't have a long hot summer. Last night was cool and good for sleeping. Did I tell you I lost a small diamond in my engagement ring? It is replacable free. I miss wearing it.
Well, I will close. Remember I love you. Thank you for the presents.
All my love,
Mom
When I opened my door this morning I was thrilled to find a package from you. I love the baby dolls and gown and robe, too. I go to the doctor this afternoon but have some errands. It is 75 degrees out better than 89 like last week. It was so nice and thought of you to get some pretty things for me. I really love them. You know Grandma never said a word about my bikinis I bought when you were here last June. When are you going to come again? We had so much fun. How is work going? Do you keep busy? How is your love life? Aunt Ida is planning to come over today but she had better hurry. Bob went to the doctor also. He should be back soon.
We got bananas and strawberries yesterday and they were sure good on my cereal. Yummy. I have gained weight. I needed it. I was skinny. I want to go swimming to get some exercise. I may go soon. My hair is really long and think. I need a head band for it to keep it out of my face. It is wavy and coarse - hard to handle but I get too cold with short hair. Plus Bob doesn't like short hair. Is your hair long? It is so pretty.
I loved the Easter card and put it on the TV for all to see. Grandpa goes to the special neurologist Monday for his pain. He is miserable with it.
I have errands to run before my doctor's appointment. Aunt Ida was just here. She took a jump suit Sandy bought and changed her mind.
This is close to the end of the month and we are poor. I will stop and get some headbands and coffee (free) at Churchill's. I am having trouble sleeping lately.
It is now 80 degrees and I went to Ponderosa for a big salad and fruit. It was very good. I hope we don't have a long hot summer. Last night was cool and good for sleeping. Did I tell you I lost a small diamond in my engagement ring? It is replacable free. I miss wearing it.
Well, I will close. Remember I love you. Thank you for the presents.
All my love,
Mom
Wednesday, April 17, 1985
April 17, 1985
Dear Betsy,
Well, I wrote Kirstie a little while ago, and now I am at the Pancake house for coffee and wanted to write you. It was such nice weather yesterday. We went to the bank early and out for breakfast. I then got 3 pair of new thongs. It was the 1st Bob had been out. Then we went to Bill Knapps for supper and I had my chef salad and ice tea. Then we got ice cream.
It was so nice and warm out and today is chilly. Your grandparents have colds. I made appy cake tonight and it should be good. I love it. I am gaining weight but I need it.
I think Sandy had a good time. She was really busy etc. She has been invited to a Prom here and I hope she can make it. When are you got to get vacation and visit me and Bob. We'd love to have you. We had such a nice visit last June. I will always remember it. Bob and I will be married for over a year June 23. Hard to believe. I go to the Mormon church now and they are good to me.
How is your college coming along? How many hours do you take? Was it English? How is work? How is the boy friend situation? What about David? Do you still date him? Are you still friends? Sandy has a day of snow while she was here. Really rare. I lost a diamond out of my wedding band but it is guaranteed so Bob will have to return it for repair.
My heels are peeling and look aweful. I have such ugly feet. I was on them too much yesterday. Tomorrow I have to be there. They are installing an intercome and buzzer system in each apartment. That should be fun. I will make oatmeal for breakfast. I am happy for it. Well, I miss you. Remember, I love you dearly.
All my love,
Mom
Well, I wrote Kirstie a little while ago, and now I am at the Pancake house for coffee and wanted to write you. It was such nice weather yesterday. We went to the bank early and out for breakfast. I then got 3 pair of new thongs. It was the 1st Bob had been out. Then we went to Bill Knapps for supper and I had my chef salad and ice tea. Then we got ice cream.
It was so nice and warm out and today is chilly. Your grandparents have colds. I made appy cake tonight and it should be good. I love it. I am gaining weight but I need it.
I think Sandy had a good time. She was really busy etc. She has been invited to a Prom here and I hope she can make it. When are you got to get vacation and visit me and Bob. We'd love to have you. We had such a nice visit last June. I will always remember it. Bob and I will be married for over a year June 23. Hard to believe. I go to the Mormon church now and they are good to me.
How is your college coming along? How many hours do you take? Was it English? How is work? How is the boy friend situation? What about David? Do you still date him? Are you still friends? Sandy has a day of snow while she was here. Really rare. I lost a diamond out of my wedding band but it is guaranteed so Bob will have to return it for repair.
My heels are peeling and look aweful. I have such ugly feet. I was on them too much yesterday. Tomorrow I have to be there. They are installing an intercome and buzzer system in each apartment. That should be fun. I will make oatmeal for breakfast. I am happy for it. Well, I miss you. Remember, I love you dearly.
All my love,
Mom
Sunday, March 31, 1985
March 31, 1985
Dear Betsy,
I am at Friendly's drinking coffee. It is 53 degrees and raining. Tomorrow is to be a high of 30-35 degrees and snow. I hope it is gone before Sandy comes. When are you going to come? I miss you. My right hip bone and ankle bone have a bad sore on each. I am on antibiotics now. I guess I will have to sleep on my other side. I found a prayer of love…
God is never beyond our reach
He only's a prayer away
Trust Him always, look to His love
He's watching and waiting today.
When trouble comes and things go wrong
And you've reached the end of your road,
Just tie a knot and hang on tight
Look to God for Him there's hope.
When ski's above seem dark and gray
And clouds hold promise of rain
Count your blessings, trust in the Lord
Soon the sun will shine forth.
When day is done and shadows fall
And the night seems dark and long
Worry not then a child of God
Sleep, for soon cometh the dawn.
His love endures forever more
There never was such a friend
Thus He stands so eager to help
With courage right to the end
No, God's never beyond our reach
He's only a prayer away,
Trust Him always, look to His love
He's watching and waiting today.
So how is work? Are you busy all day long? What do you do with your evenings and weekends? I love to hear from you. I don't have much to write about. Bob is doing better. I may get my very long hair cut short but I hate to. It is so coarse and think.
I wish you could see my new wedding rings. They are so pretty. I wear my gold band also.
Well, I hope you have a nice Easter. Will you go to church with someone? Remember I miss you and love you dearly.
All my love,
Mom
I am at Friendly's drinking coffee. It is 53 degrees and raining. Tomorrow is to be a high of 30-35 degrees and snow. I hope it is gone before Sandy comes. When are you going to come? I miss you. My right hip bone and ankle bone have a bad sore on each. I am on antibiotics now. I guess I will have to sleep on my other side. I found a prayer of love…
God is never beyond our reach
He only's a prayer away
Trust Him always, look to His love
He's watching and waiting today.
When trouble comes and things go wrong
And you've reached the end of your road,
Just tie a knot and hang on tight
Look to God for Him there's hope.
When ski's above seem dark and gray
And clouds hold promise of rain
Count your blessings, trust in the Lord
Soon the sun will shine forth.
When day is done and shadows fall
And the night seems dark and long
Worry not then a child of God
Sleep, for soon cometh the dawn.
His love endures forever more
There never was such a friend
Thus He stands so eager to help
With courage right to the end
No, God's never beyond our reach
He's only a prayer away,
Trust Him always, look to His love
He's watching and waiting today.
So how is work? Are you busy all day long? What do you do with your evenings and weekends? I love to hear from you. I don't have much to write about. Bob is doing better. I may get my very long hair cut short but I hate to. It is so coarse and think.
I wish you could see my new wedding rings. They are so pretty. I wear my gold band also.
Well, I hope you have a nice Easter. Will you go to church with someone? Remember I miss you and love you dearly.
All my love,
Mom
Monday, March 25, 1985
March 25, 1985
Dear Betsy,
I just came from the GYN doctor. He increased my Estrogen to double it. I hate pelvic exams. Now, I am at Fisches Big Boy for soup and salad bar and coffee. It is so good. I got this care for free from Current stationary. It made me think of you.
I hope you are feeling better and sleeping at night. I have trouble sleeping also. Soon Sandy will be here. When are you coming? When is your vacation? I'd love to see you. You are always welcome.
Our weather is warmer today and sunny. Oh, I have lost 6# without knowing it. So I guess I'll get to making milk shakes or something. I don't know how I lost so much. I asked the nurse if the scale was right and she said yes.
I don't think I'll keep going to the Mormon church. I don't know what I'll do for Easter. I may go Baptist or Episcopal depending on our weather. The Episcopal church has been supplying us iwth meals for over a week. It is really nice of them.
Bob is home sleeping. I got to go home and make supper for him. I got him 2 apple sticks for breakfast tomorrow.
I have been doing pelvic rocks the past two days and my abdomen hurts to say the least. My appetite is good. I should be gaining weight and not losing. I only weight #112.
Well, I hope things are better for you in all matters. How is David? What about Greg? What happened with the others your wrote about?
Well, I must close. Please write me and get will for your mom. I love you so much and MISS YOU.
All my love,
Mom
I just came from the GYN doctor. He increased my Estrogen to double it. I hate pelvic exams. Now, I am at Fisches Big Boy for soup and salad bar and coffee. It is so good. I got this care for free from Current stationary. It made me think of you.
I hope you are feeling better and sleeping at night. I have trouble sleeping also. Soon Sandy will be here. When are you coming? When is your vacation? I'd love to see you. You are always welcome.
Our weather is warmer today and sunny. Oh, I have lost 6# without knowing it. So I guess I'll get to making milk shakes or something. I don't know how I lost so much. I asked the nurse if the scale was right and she said yes.
I don't think I'll keep going to the Mormon church. I don't know what I'll do for Easter. I may go Baptist or Episcopal depending on our weather. The Episcopal church has been supplying us iwth meals for over a week. It is really nice of them.
Bob is home sleeping. I got to go home and make supper for him. I got him 2 apple sticks for breakfast tomorrow.
I have been doing pelvic rocks the past two days and my abdomen hurts to say the least. My appetite is good. I should be gaining weight and not losing. I only weight #112.
Well, I hope things are better for you in all matters. How is David? What about Greg? What happened with the others your wrote about?
Well, I must close. Please write me and get will for your mom. I love you so much and MISS YOU.
All my love,
Mom
Saturday, March 16, 1985
March 16, 1985
Dear Betsy,
It is really good to have a lovely daughter like you. I am so proud of you. I remember when you were a little baby and now you are grown. I missed those five years so much. I wish we could have another visit like we last did. I hope this card arrives on time. Buy yourself something to remember me when you see it. I hope you have a very nice day and many more to come. I really do love you and miss you.
Love always,
Mom
Happy Birthday to a wonderful daughter who is lovelier every year…
and even more dear. Have a wonderful day!
It is really good to have a lovely daughter like you. I am so proud of you. I remember when you were a little baby and now you are grown. I missed those five years so much. I wish we could have another visit like we last did. I hope this card arrives on time. Buy yourself something to remember me when you see it. I hope you have a very nice day and many more to come. I really do love you and miss you.
Love always,
Mom
Happy Birthday to a wonderful daughter who is lovelier every year…
and even more dear. Have a wonderful day!
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